Halfway There

It's the middle of the middle month of the year. Summer is here in all its glory and as I always say, time is flying as fast as ever. I'm almost to the end of both my journal and my current purple notebook. These three things are working together to set my mind on taking a step back to consider the progress of the year so far.

This morning, I sat in my garden writing a fresh essay on the writing life and reading over the different things I've put down in my purple notebook.

I ran across this essay that I wrote on December 31st and decided that now is the perfect time to share it with all of you. We're halfway through this year already and yet that night at the end of December doesn't seem all that long ago. I'm sure you feel the same way...

December 31, 2016

Happy New Year

It's only almost 9, but I'm doing what I do when I check the time and adding three hours, which means that my family and friends on the east coast are minutes away from the big moment. I'm home with nearly 20 people and a Harry Potter marathon going on in my living room. A hot shower, dry hair, my fluffy bathrobe, some Bechet, and a cup of hot coffee are my companions now that everyone else is onto year five. I'm in my room with lamps and Christmas lights and the last 140 pages of book four. I'm doing something else I do...Wondering ahead to next year. Where will I be? What will I be doing? With who? What will my "word" be? Will I be as happy then as I am now? Happier? I've been thinking through things and seeing possibilities. And turning each and every one of them over into God's hands.

Last Sunday I was reminded that He RULES everything. The very Psalm that was comforting to me in the summer of 2010 is comforting me all over again. That summer, as I hovered around Baltimore in a plane with a big storm going on in the sky around me - complete with flashes of lightning - the words of that Psalm were on my mind explaining the peace I had. I've never forgotten that flight. I hope I never do. Trusting God in that moment was natural and easy and a total game changer. I guess it was because I didn't really have any other option.

I often wonder why it doesn't come so easily in other situations. The same truth applies. The same power He has over the wind and the rain and the lightning and even the course of that plane are exercised over every person I come into contact with, every circumstance, every opportunity, every ability...All of it. I'm going into 2017 with my mind set on these things and a resolve to BASK in His light. When I bask in the sun, I am full and happy and at ease. My cares melt away. I often doze off. There is nothing like it. I want it to be the same with God. It's going to take His Word. And it will be a good year.

I'm holding a few words back. They are here...I guess I'm afraid to unleash them. Why is that? Here in this "safe place" where they aren't going to go anywhere? Maybe that's something I'll work on. Why not now? Why do we hold things in? Is it fear of each other? Fear of being "found out"? And what is so wrong with that anyway?

Well, I started this piece with intentions. And it has taken a shape of its own. Holding back is harder than letting it out. I'm tired. Not sleepy tired, but the kind of tired that comes of writing your heart out. Only, I didn't quite get there.

* * *

2017 has been a year of much basking. I've been to MA and to SC. I've entered two different writing contests and put my words out there again and again. I've met so many new people and finally gotten around to getting to know people I've met since moving here almost two years ago. I've read less and written more.

My brother and sister have been in play after play. I've helped with props and costumes and volunteered on the hospitality side of things. I've packed more dinners to go than I can possibly keep track of and tucked little notes into each one. 

Circumstances really haven't changed much at all and yet I've poured myself into trusting God and continually looking to Him.

All in all, I'd say it's been a pretty good year so far!

How did you spend New Years?

What were your hopes going into 2017? 

What's on your mind now that we're halfway there?