The Best Part

December 19, 2014

Sometime within the last month I heard Khalid's song "Young Dumb and Broke" for the first time. I found myself bobbing my head to the beat and getting lost in the chorus of yi-di-di-di-di-di-di-duhs and then all of a sudden I realized what it was that I was hearing.  I laughed out loud and turned it up a little louder. He was rapping about the life of the American teenager and every single thing he said was true. I had my window rolled down and I looked around at the people in their cars around me and I thought to myself, "This song could be the anthem of our youth."

I played the song for my Mom later on and asked her opinion. It didn't hit her the way it hit me. But, it's been sticking with me. I've listened to it over and over again in an attempt to figure out why it grabbed me the way that it did. Part of it is the beat and his voice and that peaceful little chorus. Part of it is the pain I hear behind the bars, the desperation and hopelessness that expresses what I see lingering in the corners of the eyes of teenagers I run into. It's the kind of song that gives you something to think about. 

Fast forward through the weeks that have stretched out between the morning I heard that song for the first time and the morning I'm writing this post. 

I've been better about calling the people I need to call to stay in touch with them. I made the effort to see Jay while he was in town and didn't let the fact that we didn't have coffee by the lake or go for a drive or do any of the things we normally do when he comes to visit disappoint me. I jumped on the opportunity to see Heidi and her family and all but begged them to come to my house after I met up with them for her son's appointment. I celebrated the birth of my friend Amber's DAUGHTER and stayed up way too late reliving the details of it all with her. I had tea with Leah and her daughters and pizza with Olivier and his wife. The conversation I've been trying to have for months was finally had and made me more happy than I ever imagined it would. I let myself feel all of the emotions that come along with seeing family from the East Coast when my Aunt announced she was coming to visit.

It's a foggy Tuesday morning and I've made it to the end of the string of things I was looking forward to. 

I'm sitting here thinking about Khalid's song and my life and the lives of the ones I love. There's so much to be grateful for. So much love to have and to give and to celebrate and to enjoy. Life isn't neat or tidy. It's totally unpredictable. 

The best part, is that it's all in God's hands. That's why we know we'll make it through. That's why we can be grateful. That's why being young, dumb, and broke is never the end of the story. That's why we don't have to give into hopelessness and despair and disappointment. 

I'm a glutton for time with the ones I love. Enough is never enough. And yet, I've noticed...Just when I don't think I can go much longer without them, here they come. A string of visits (almost always spur of the moment without room for anticipation or planning) pile one on top of the other. I'll see one friend and then another and then another. I won't have time to realize how excited I am or how much I needed that time with them. Before I know it, I'm in the middle of it all and feel as though I've just swallowed the moon. 

And then it's all over and the the happiness I felt continues to overflow. I don't know how long it'll be before it's back and though I'm tempted to obsess think about that very thing, I do my best not to. It's good to be together. So good. 

And it's even better to trust Him with the time in between.