Start Somewhere

Friday, July 20, 2018

July 20, 2018

Fridays are the day I go into work late. I try to have the house cleaned and the laundry done so that Friday mornings can give me some time to slow down and take my time. I look forward to these mornings all week. I linger over coffee and usually take a book out to the backyard. Sometimes I go for a walk. Sometimes I take some time to write. This morning was all of that minus the clean house part. I toted my coffee around while my Mom and I visited. I started a new book. And then I sat down and wrote for almost an hour before heading out on a walk. 

After a heat wave that gave the Dog Days of Summer every bit of meaning associated with it, it has cooled way down. Two mornings ago, it almost felt like the first hints of fall were in the air. That whole tease shouldn't be here for another month at least, but this is the PNW, so I'm not holding my breath. This morning, everything is adding up to those final days before the first day of school. The sky is a fainter blue. The air smells like smoke from nearby wildfires. There's a crispness and a bite on the breeze that reminds you that summer won't last forever. 

Needless to say, I got back from my walk and promptly headed to the kitchen to complete the very summery act of making a batch of sweet tea. All of a sudden I started thinking about blogging and how I've been meaning to get back here for so long. While I kicked around ideas as to where to begin and what to write, I got interrupted by the stir stick I was using to fish the tea bag out of my tea. I snapped a picture, wrote a little post to share on FB, and started crying fresh tears all over again (the stir stick made me think of my Grandparents). Spending my life missing people who live far away and who have passed away has taught me a very important lesson. Namely, time doesn't heal wounds. There are some wounds and aches that never do go away. Some days are most certainly easier than others, but God doesn't mean for us not to hurt. The hurt has a purpose. It drives us to Him. It makes us understand the value of each other. Time goes by and you still miss them like crazy. So, miss them. Cry when you need to. Remember them often. Talk about them with whoever will listen. They're gone, but they're also not.

I stepped out onto the patio and took the thousandth picture of the sky and the bushes and the trees and then I did what I haven't done in month. I logged onto blogger and sat down to get some words down for YOU. 

I've got a whole stack of books to tell you about. There are more lessons from God, especially when it comes to the way He leads His people. I've got some shopping stories to share with you. There are a few recipes I could pass on to you. I should probably tell you about what I've been up to and what I've been into. I've got a trip to SC coming up along with my one year anniversary at the library and my last month of being 27. I've got some things to brag about (if you can call being proud of yourself for doing things you never thought you'd ever do and realizing how much you're enjoying them bragging) and a few words on boys men that I need to find the guts to write out and share. 

I'm finally about to make my way through the only Fitzgerald book I haven't read yet for the first time. I read Gatsby the summer I was 21. Then I read Tender is the Night the next summer. Then I read The Last Tycoon. Two summers ago I read The Beautiful and Damned. And I've been waiting to read this final one until the time was right. It's July again and it's time. I read the first few pages before bed last night and let me tell you, the time really couldn't be more right. 

When there's something you want to do, you have to start somewhere. So here I am, starting. 

What have you been up to since we talked last?

1 comment:

  1. So excited to see a new post from you! It sounds like you've had a busy and insightful summer. I can't wait to hear more of your thoughts on everything you've shared here.

    I do agree with you about time not healing all wounds. I find things all the time that make me miss people who are no longer with us, my grandmother specifically as well.

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