Living That Way

February 15, 2013

It's the second day of a new year. The first day of business as usual. It's time to get ourselves back together and resume the lives we were leading before we got all distracted by all of the holiday shenanigans.

As I've clicked around the internet the last few days, I've seen post after post about what people are hoping for and planning to accomplish in this new year. Some have been super heartfelt, some have been very practical pieces offering five simple steps to take with you, and others have been quick little reflections.

They all got me thinking.

For one thing, I'm actually pretty happy with who I am and where I am and the habits I call my own. I'm always hearing people ragging on themselves about how they just don't sleep enough or don't drink enough water or would love to exercise, but just can't find the time. I hear them talk about how they procrastinate and hate cooking and cleaning and keeping up on life's minutiae. Every time I hear these kinds of comments I think, "WHY? How hard is it to do what's important to you, especially when you know it'll be good for you?"

I've never stopped someone mid rant. I've never looked at them with raised eyebrows and exclaimed, "Wow. You're a mess." I mean, that's what they're trying to tell me. They're a mess and they know it. And they want to change it. Only, they don't realllly want to. Otherwise, they would.

It's the second day of a new year and I'm in a different place than I have been in over two years. I have a contract waiting for my signature. Once I sign my name to the solid line, I'll know for sure, that I will be in this town at least until the spring of 2019.

Ever since August of 2015, I've been in this weird in-between place. At first, I thought my life was going to consist of going back and forth between The Queen's Cottage and our old town every three months or so. Then, it became clear that that wasn't going to happen, but I assumed that eventually we'd go back for an extended period of time. And then, we never did. We only went back to pack up the house and within a few months, we had a buyer. By the fall of 2016, they had the keys. After that, reality started to sink in. We didn't live in that town anymore. We LIVED here now. This was truly my next "home for now" place.

I wondered how long we'd be here. I gave up on finding my people even though I'd kind of found them like three times over again. I pushed my arms out and went back to being the homebody I used to be. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I volunteered and drove all over hill and dale getting people to where they needed to be. For all the changes and uncertainty, I took a lot of comfort in the fact that MY daily life hadn't changed much at all. I clung to the familiar rhythms of cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and doing laundry and having a garden.

And then, in the summer of 2017 I did a few things for myself. I entertained the possibility of working outside the home and just as fall was getting started, I agreed to two positions. We took a break from theatre and I took a break from every non-essential while I threw myself into figuring out how to do MOST of what I had already done as well as I could now that I had about half as much time to do it in. It wasn't a difficult adjustment. My family is great and I didn't have a choice other than to be patient with myself.

Anyway...Back to this whole new years thing. I know I'm not anywhere close to perfect, but I'm actually pretty happy with who I am and how I spend my time. For the first time in two years I have a bit of a long range picture of where I will be and I've finally agreed to do a few things while I'm here.

I won't be trying to get to bed earlier or to drink more water or to be more active. I won't be trying to buy less junk food and more produce or spend less time on the internet. I won't be trying to read my Bible regularly or spend time actually praying for the people I told I'd be praying for. I certainly won't be trying to lose weight or do a better job of eating out less. I won't be trying to care about people more or doing better at putting them first. And the fact that I can honestly say all of that has me grateful. It's nothing to brag about. It's not because I'm this awesome person who has it all together. The steadiness in my life isn't a work of my own drive or makeup or effort.

All of it, every good habit, every smile, every ounce of dedication, all the willingness to pursue and apply wisdom come straight from God. It's His grace poured out and worked out in me. All I have to do is look to Him in eager expectation and keep looking and then obey.  And even those things come from Him.

So many of us run from living that way. It boils down to thinking that our way will be better and make us happier. We can't and won't follow Him until we hear Him beckoning to us.

I'm going into 2018 with a single word on my mind and the resolve to keep pressing on. One day at a time. One good habit at a time. Sure, there are things that I can work on and I'll  be sure to do that. As I do, there will be one line running through my head, namely, it's God that's getting me through.

Basking With Dickinson

Here's a post I've had sitting around in my drafts folder since Jan. 5. Enjoy!

March 30, 2017

I see thee better in the dark, 
I do not need a light.
The love of thee a prism be
Excelling violet.

I see thee better for the years
That hunch themselves between, 
The miner's lamp sufficient be
To nullify the mine.

And in the grave I see thee best-
Its little panels be
Aglow, all ruddy with the light
I held so high for thee!

What need of day to those whose dark
Hath so surpassing sun,
It deem it be continually
At the meridian? - Emily Dickinson

If you've been around here for a while, you'll remember that I've gotten into poetry over the last few years and that however cliche it sounds, Dickinson is one of my favorite poets. I meandered over to the poetry section at the library on the last day of the year and came away with a small volume of her poems in my hand. I devoured a good bit of it while I waited for my Mom to get off of work.

The sun was shining as I sat in the van reading poem after poem. When I got to this particular poem, I stopped and read it through several more times. In these four stanzas, Dickinson had captured what I had been learning from God. It goes along so well with my word for 2017 that I had to share it here with all of you.

Oh, that I would be one whose dark had a sun that made it seem as though I lived right at the equator (or as I have since learned, that "meridian" can refer to the noonday sun). As one of God's own, I DO have such a sun. My prayer for this year is that I would bask in it whatever darkness threatens to draw me away.

Have you read any poems that are especially good lately? 

Has your word been showing up? 

You Might Enjoy

January 11, 2017

Since the middle of February I have been consciously collecting a list of things that will help me (or have prepared me to) DO this thing called BASKING that I've set out to do in the year ahead. If I'm honest, the occasional blue skies and the sun poking out from behind the clouds are my steadiest reminder, but there are things along the way that have done a lot of work too.

Here are some resources that have prepared me for 2017:

A sermon: The Glory of God in the Good Resolves of His People by John Piper - I'm not sure how many times I've listened to this sermon, but I've had it on my iPod for two whole years now. It's a theme that's on my mind often. I wrote about it here and it influenced the word I chose to focus on last year.

A book: Grace For the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman - I've read Freeman's blog for YEARS. She writes the way I long to write, connecting her faith to the most ordinary of moments in her everyday life. I read this book a while ago, but it was in its pages that I finally GOT what it was for Jesus to be about His Father's business. This book made me DIG around in the Bible. It encouraged me to look to Christ's example as I sought to BE a Christian. This is NOT another women's book about "letting go and letting God". It will breathe TRUTH into your soul and it will  challenge you to stand firm.

Some prose that reads like a poem: Scrolling through instagram one day back in October, I came across these words by C.S. Lewis (it turns out they were taken from a section out of Mere Christianity). It goes like this:

NEARER

"If you want to get warm

             you must stand 

            near the fire: if

           you want to be 

               wet you must get 

           into the water.

             If you want joy, 

                    power, peace, eternal 

              life, you must get 

                  close to, or even into,

        the thing that 

 has them."

                         - C.S. Lewis

Here are some things that are keeping me focused in 2017:

A playlist: Bask 2017 - This won't be for everyone, but it's the kind of music that I can't help but be grateful to have in my life. These songs have been encouraging me and teaching me and challenging me for years. Hit shuffle and ENJOY!

A plan: Stay in the Gospels - In light of the task this word spurs me onto, I felt the best place to go was to the example of Jesus Christ, Himself. So, I've been spending time with Him in the Gospels. I started with John, then moved on to Mark, and I'm going to start Matthew today. I can't remember who said it, but a theologian of old encouraged every Christian to always have their thumb in the Gospels no matter what other Scripture they were focusing on. In different seasons, I've attempted to do that.

Resolves: Going for walks in silence. Keeping a list of prayer requests handy and going over it or checking back in with the people that have asked me to pray. Journaling out Scriptures and lessons and prayers and preaching the Word to myself. Staying in touch with friends and listening to the stories of grace that they have to share or the burdens of faith they are carrying.

Is there anything you would recommend to me? 

What are some things that have been pointing you to God lately? 

Called to Bask

January 11, 2017

I'm struggling with how to introduce this post. I want to write about what it is to live out my word for 2017 and to be honest about how it's going.

On a superficial level, it's going WELL. I'm thinking about God, delighting in the small things, feasting on His gifts, praying over people, and using music to preach to myself. As far as having a disciplined soul goes, it's going HORRIBLY.

The whole purpose of this word is taking time out to be with God. It's about following Jesus Christ's example of slipping away and withdrawing and getting alone with God to pray. It's about going to God for the strength and grace and sustenance that comes from Him alone. If Christ needed this and devoted Himself to this and depended on this, it is something I most certainly cannot live without.

I KNOW this, but somehow, the discipline is lacking and it shows. I had to tell my friend Abigail that I hadn't been in the Word. My bad attitude proves to my family that I'm not actively submitting my spirit to God. The anxiety creeping in proves that I'm not abiding in His Spirit.

You ready for a peek into my journal? (This is for you, Mom!)

via Dec. 29, 2016 //

As I go into 2017, I want to remember that I am waiting on God. I want to BASK in the light of God. I want to bathe in the Word. I want to be one who waits on Him constantly. I want the storm to rage on while I cling to Him. I want to seek His strength and find it and show that I have it. I want to trust His will and His timing for all my hopes.

Isaiah 8:20-22 says, "To the teaching and to the testimony! If they will not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. They will pass through the land, greatly distressed and hungry. And when they are hungry, they will be enraged and will speak contemptuously against their king and their God, and turn their faces upward. And they will look to the earth, but behold, distress and darkness, the gloom of anguish. And they will be thrust into thick darkness."
My attitude lately has been of one who has no dawn. One who looks around beholding distress and darkness and is hungry and in anguish and even enraged. I've felt it. I've taken it out on my family. God's light has shined into my darkness and I want to remember it. His strength came along showing me where my strength is to be found, namely, in Him. He has shown me on whom I wait, namely, on Him. He has granted me light to bask in and is ever ready with strength to endure.

At every turn I'm reminded of God's grace and strength and peace. I'm reminded that He is ruler over all (Psalm 29). That everything is in His hands. And then, waiting becomes sweet. I'm not waiting on anyone but Him. I'll say that again: I am waiting on Him. His timing is perfect and His will is best. Even if the road is slow or lonely, by it I will know Him and become like Christ and it is on that road that I've been begging Him to keep me all these years...If you're looking for me, you'll find me there.

//

And yet, here I am. I've reached the middle of February being reminded of these things and being beckoned into His strength only to disregard the call to BASK. If I'm going to keep this resolve, it's going to take effort and it's high time I do whatever it takes to get back on track.

via Dec. 31, 2016 //

I will need to learn from men like Paul and Christ and Whitefield and Washington. To set time out to be alone with God reading and praying and seeking Him. My priorities need shifting. I know that. My "defaults" need resetting.

//

I'm sharing all of this as a kick in the pants to myself, but also as an encouragement to all of you! Our resolves drive us back to God. They keep us seeking Him and depending on Him and rejoicing in Him, and praising Him.

For me, this going to look like imitating Christ's practice of going away to be with God. I struggle with this because I don't like going away. The thing is, if I'm going to receive God's strength, I've got to go to Him. If I'm going to be one who represents Christ to those around me, I've got to go to the Father just like He did.

If I'm going to bask, I have to bask. 


Let's look to Christ. Let's reset our defaults. Let's put in the effort. Let's BASK. However dark the day, the sun is out!

One Word: 2017

September 10, 2010

I am a sun chaser. My favorite place is the beach and if I disappear on a sunny day, all you need to do is to hunt for the patch of sun that I'm basking in. Come February's warmest days, you'll find me camped out in some spot of sun with sweatshirt and blanket and book, pen, and paper. It'll be cold. People will think I'm crazy, but I cannot get enough.

By the time summer rolls around, you'll find me looking for any excuse to get outside. I have quiet times out there. I garden. I go for walks. I'll do my afternoon reading or writing on the patio. I am even known to take naps out in the yard. There are few things I enjoy more than turning my face to the sun and feeling its rays warm me right to my core.

That said, my word for 2017 managed to catch me by surprise. I had a few words rolling around in my mind and the one that I ended up with was not one of them. I've been reading Andrew Murray's book "Waiting on God" along with whatever chapter(s) of Scripture he references each day. On Day 16, Murray compared waiting on God with keeping watch for the first rays of the morning light. God is a God of LIGHT and His light is always shining. I know this to be true. As I read Murray's words they resonated with me because of my love for the sun.

Psalm 130:5-6 says, "I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, And in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning; I say, more than they that watch for the morning."

We all know what it is to watch for the morning light. It chases away darkness and doubt and fear and gloom and troubles and so many things. The morning light brings with it hope and peace and a brand new day. I'm not exactly sure what events surrounded the writing of Psalm 130, but I'm pretty confident that it was times of trouble. I've been talking with several different people about salvation lately. They've all wrestled with seasons of wondering if they were ACTUALLY saved. Two of them have made it through those times. They can't explain what happened, but they both said that God changed things. I would sum up their words by saying that the light of God shined in their souls.

Murray puts it this way, "Just as the sun shines its beautiful, life giving light on and into our earth, so God shines into our hearts the light of His glory, of His love, in Christ His son. Our heart is meant to have that light filling and gladening it all the day."

If you haven't guessed yet, my word for 2017 is BASK. By the last day of December, I had settled on it and I've already been seeing the theme pop up again and again. I need to wait on God and trust that He rules over all things. I need to believe Him and stay in His word. By His Spirit, my soul will be full of the joy and peace that come from His light. God is light. By His light do we see and live and walk.

I want 2017 to be a year of savoring these truths. I want to receive from Him and respond with praise. I want the times when darkness threaten to undo me to become times when I learn to look to Him knowing that His light IS there. I want to glow with the beauty of His presence and the proof that my hope is in Him alone. I want it to be said of me that I am nurtured by Him and the light He shines on His people. I will need to pray. I will need to reflect often on His goodness and His character.

I look forward to the cloudy days when His sun shines. I long for my soul to be nourished by His light just the way my body is nourished by the sun on my skin. As I could lay there in its warmth for hours at a time, so I long for 2017 to be the year where I am continually basking in God's warmth.

May I learn from the flowers and the trees and the grass and the animals and even my own soul. As Murray says on page 83, "They do nothing [to keep the sun shining on them], they simply bask in the sunshine when it comes."

And it always comes. As Alice likes to remind me, "The sun is always shining, even when we can't see it."

Have you picked a word for 2017?

The Theme of Fall

September 2, 2016

"He will tend His flock like a shepherd;

He will gather the lambs in His arms;

He will carry them in His bosom;

and gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

I'm going into fall with a pretty good rhythm going. We all know how easy it is to let the laundry sit in the baskets unfolded, to eat meals that are quick and easy without thinking about how good they are for you, or to let the floors go a few weeks without being vacuumed. 

Often times, we come to the end of summer with a lot of bad habits and a desperate need to get things back into shape. That is almost always exactly where I find myself each year. This year, things are different. Our summer routine required keeping things in shape and left a lot of room for it too. For once, I lived a quiet life getting things done and being able to have a pretty good idea of when people would be coming and going. Rather than going into fall feeling like I have a lot of things I need to work on, I've got a rhythm going and I want to keep it up. 

Normally I come out of summer with a list of resolves,  but  this year I'm going into fall with a single word on my mind, namely, TEND. This fall, I'm resolving to tend the good habits, my soul, my relationships, and whatever else God brings before me. 

Tend is such a good word. It's good in part because it's so familiar. I am, by nature, one who tends. I enjoy the work of tending. I find it somewhat easy and even when it's not I find it super rewarding. The work of tending requires thought and planning and diligence and effort. The work of tending means that we cannot grow weary of doing the same things over and over again. 

The best part of letting this single word be my resolve is that it's not something I have to do alone.

I may not be part of Isaiah's original audience, but God most certainly does tend, gather, carry, and lead His people. As I've read the Bible in 2016, I am enamored with the thread of how God TEACHES His people to be His people. He commands things that are good for us. And then He goes a step further and leads us along. 

Tomorrow morning, I'll stand with my family to join the church that we've been attending for the last year. As I do, this resolve of mine will gain another facet. It's something that's been missing and I'm honestly a little scared, bust mostly just really excited to see what will become of this step. The Church is the place that God does a lot of tending. He gathers His people for a reason. As we join this church we'll be opening ourselves up to the tending that God has for us to receive and to give there. 

On this gray Saturday, I'm sitting in a quiet, clean house with a candle burning and some Jill Andrews playing. My soul is peaceful and full and overflowing with gratefulness to this God of mine. He is good, you guys, so good. I'll never tire of His goodness.

However you're making it to fall, my prayer is that God would grant you so much peace in your soul and some wisdom about how to make the most of this new season. God leads His people. There is nothing sweeter than being led by Him.

Six Months To Live

February 8, 2016

Last September, I sat in the front row of a room full of people who had gathered together to celebrate the graduation of 39 men and women who had just completed their training as police officers. An older gentleman sat down beside me and we quickly struck up a conversation. It turns out that his grandson and my brother were from the same department. We talked for quite a while before my Aunt leaned over to make sure he wasn't bothering me. He wasn't. The man was beaming from ear to ear and was eager to tell me all about himself and his grandson. Before we knew it, the graduates were ready to march to the front of the room where they would be recognized for their achievements.

The moment my brother walked up to the stage, I started whooping and hollering at the top of my lungs, just like I used to during his football days. I was prouder than proud and afterwards he told me that he thought all of our family was working together to make all that racket. When I had finished cheering, the man beside me said, "Oh! That was your brother? You shoulda warned me. If I'da known, I'da hollered too!" Needless to say, I gave a couple of cheers when his grandson marched across the stage.

After the ceremony, everyone joined their police officer for pictures and congratulations. From there, the officers wandered around congratulating each other and saying their see ya laters. When we were on our way back to the dorms to pick up my brother's belongings, we passed the old man one more time and congratulated the family. As we were walking away he said, "Goodbye, sister and brother!" And I smiled all over again.

It was raining that day. The same rain that turned into the flood in Columbia less than one week later. But the rain didn't take away from the excitement and the pride and the joy that was floating around that gym.

I got news today that that man's grandson committed suicide yesterday. Last September when we watched him march across the stage, none of us knew that he only had less than six months to live. Nobody knew that this man with a badge and a gun and a bullet proof vest would use a gun to take his own life. None of us knew the pain that he carried with him in his heart. We knew that he was young and had his whole life ahead of him. Turns out, that "whole life" was less than six months.

When I received the news, I walked directly to the window to look at the sun streaming in. I thought of the young man and of the stories my brother has told me about him. I thought of his grandpa and what this news will mean to him. I did what I promised myself I would do in 2016 as I mulled over this bad news by whispering the words, "Behold, our God!" to myself.

I sit here at my table by that same window looking up every now and then to see the sun shining through the big maple in our backyard and to watch the squirrel scurry around collecting nuts and seeds and I'm still thinking of that young man and his grandpa. News like that cannot be easy to receive. I have so many questions and the one I keep coming back to is, "What now?" The young man is GONE. He's finished carrying around the burdens life on this earth gave him. His family just got a new burden added to their shoulders.

And I'm thinking about my Grandma's sister who finally called to tell my Grandma that she was diagnosed with ALS in October and was given six months to live. One at the cusp of adulthood, choosing to take his life less than six months after a huge accomplishment and the other dealing with a diagnosis at 50 years old  knowing that her time is running out and FAST. Suicide and disease are both heavy burdens to bear. They both remind us that life on this earth will always be tainted by sin.

I could talk about how none of us know how much longer we have, but that's not what's on my mind. What's on my mind are the stories of the lives that we DO have. We took my Mom out for an early birthday lunch yesterday. She'll be 49 on Saturday and hearing my youngest brother pray the words, "May she be with us for a good long while." made me tear up then and they're making me bawl today. All I can do is cry and pray and remind myself to behold OUR God.

Pray for these families. Pray for the family dealing with this young man's suicide. Pray for my Grandma and her sister. Pray for my Mom, that her 49th year would be full of God's grace and that we would have her with us for a good long while.

Death and disease and aging and burdens play a huge part of life here. May we work together to make finding the answers to the "What now?" question a little easier. Along the way, may we stop to behold God, for the wonder of His glory is all around us. Even in times like these.

A Strategy For Beholding God: Purposeful Prayer

February 5, 2016

"But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life." Jude 1:20-21

Purposeful prayer is one of the main means by which Christians can position themselves to behold God as they wait on Him. It is informed and strengthened by consistent Bible reading. In purposeful prayer, we are resolving to wait on God while paying careful attention to what we are waiting for and exactly what it means to be waiting on God.

Faith in God sustains us when we don't think we can wait on Him any longer. It shouldn't surprise us that God means to use the purposeful prayers of His people to stir up the kind of faith that sustains.

Pay Careful Attention To What We Are Waiting For

When we take things to God in prayer, we are declaring that we are waiting on Him for certain things. It is important to consider the themes that our prayers are taking. Doing this requires some effort. It's sort of like taking an inventory  and we should be specific.

Andrew Murray gives some examples of what may be waiting for. Namely, for:

God to take His place as God in our prayers

God to work in us the sense of His holy presence and nearness

a special petition that we expect an answer

God's power in our inner life

the state of His Church and saints

some part of God's work that we are looking to Him to do

He goes on to say that, "it is good that we sometimes count up to ourselves exactly what the things are we are waiting for, and as we say definitely to each of them, 'On Thee do I wait,' we shall be emboldened to claim the answer, 'For on Thee do I wait.'"

Christian, taking specific things to God in prayer and then going over that list is a great way to keep yourself dedicated to this kind of praying. Exactly what are the things that you are waiting for right now?

Pay Careful Attention To What It Means To Be Waiting on God

Paying careful attention to what it means to be waiting on God is the part of keeping our prayer purposeful that helps to ensure that we truly are praying to GOD. I know that's a mouthful, but it is easy to get so caught up in either not praying at all OR in the things that we are praying for that we actually forget about the God to whom we are praying. This will never do.

The very purpose of prayer is to unite us with God in Christ. We take our needs to Him and turn them over to Him. Prayer leads us to trust Him and to KEEP trusting Him. While we pray, we are turning our attention away from everything else in order to direct our gaze to God.

Murray reminds us that we are waiting on "the living God, such as He really is..." In all His:

great glory

infinite holiness

power

wisdom

goodness

love

nearness

"It is the presence of God, as He can in Christ by His Holy Spirit make Himself known, and keep the soul under its covering and shadow, that will waken and strengthen the true waiting spirit." Christian, you must guard against the tendency to turn away from God as He presents Himself in Scripture.

You see, purposeful prayer goes hand in hand with consistent Bible reading. You cannot be purposeful in your prayers without being impacted by your time in God's Word. This Word shapes our prayers and our view of God in a way that binds these two means together so that we may truly be waiting on God as we go about the business of beholding Him. What do you know of God and what role does this knowledge play in your praying?

What It Means To "Pray In The Spirit"

Before I close, I would like to go over what it means to "pray in the Spirit". This is where the "purposeful" part comes in. We must not be careless about HOW we pray.

Packer describes "prayer in the Spirit" as, "prayer from the heart, springing from awareness of God, of self, of others, of needs, and of Christ." He goes on to say that, "he (or she) whose heart seeks God through Christ prays in the Spirit." Praying in the Spirit is a means God grants His people to keep themselves in His love and as such, it is a means by which He keeps them in His love.

Just in case you missed it, praying in the Spirit requires a heart that is truly seeking God and His will. Have you been praying in the Spirit?

If you know your heart isn't seeking God, take it straight to Him and ask Him to teach it to. If that seems odd, read over the first few books in the Old Testament (especially Deuteronomy) and watch for the ways that God taught and instructed His people even before He gave them commandments. He is the best Teacher you'll ever have.

The Place of Purposeful Prayer

Though many of us struggle with keeping up with purposeful prayer, it is a true gift of God. If we doubt the power or place of prayer, we ought to look at the life of Christ who modeled it so perfectly. He was always meeting with God. It was something He could not neglect if He was to carry on with the work He came to earth to do.

The very fact that we are looking to and waiting on God will stir up in us natural utterances of prayer, just like it did for Christ. Murray puts it this way, "It is a great thing for a soul not only to wait upon God, but to be filled with such a consciousness that its whole spirit and position is that of a waiting one..."

If we are struggling to carry on or to keep our resolve to behold God, it could be that our lack of purposeful praying is playing a big part in that. May God grant us grace to employ this means by which our souls are kept in His love and may our prayerlessness be one more thing that makes us aware of our need to go to God.

To those of you who are purposeful prayer warriors, may your dedication of this means of grace remind you daily of God's work in your heart! May you remain strong in this area and may it accomplish much in your life as well as in the lives your prayers are touching.

How are you planning to devote yourself to purposeful prayer in 2016?

Where are you when it comes to this area of the Christian life?

Resources:
Packer quotes taken from p. 79-80 of "Keep In Step With the Spirit".
Murray quotes taken from  chapter 7 of "Waiting on God".
If you would like more on the topic of prayer here's a very helpful sermon.

A Strategy For Beholding God: Consistent Bible Reading

These wait all upon Thee,

That Thou mayest give them their meat in due season.

That Thou givest unto them, they gather;

Thou openest Thine hand, they are satisfied with good.  Psalm 104:27-28

The resolve to behold God is essentially about waiting on Him. To wait on God is to join Christ in looking to Him as our supplier and commander. ALL that we have and are, have been and are being received from the hand of God. We truly have nothing to boast about in ourselves. Nothing. Positioning ourselves to wait on God is even a gift of grace that He grants us.

If we would behold Him, we must be always waiting on Him. Neither waiting on nor beholding God come naturally to us. We are naturally inclined to want satisfaction, but our hearts are master deceivers. Waiting on God is a special kind of waiting. It is about being aware of Him, in communion with Him, and totally dependent on Him. It has been said that we become what we behold. I like to take it a step further and say that, whether we realize it or not, we behold what we want to become. Beholding God is what happens when we truly are positioning ourselves to wait on Him. When our lives are shaped by that kind of waiting, everything becomes a finger that points directly to Him.

The hope of the Christian is the faithfulness of God. We know we cannot earn our way into God's favor...Here too, in resolving to behold God and positioning ourselves to wait on Him, we see His grace. As Andrew Murray says in chapter 4 of "Waiting on God", "...He [God] means His very demands to be promises of what He will do." Consistent Bible reading is one area where the demands and promises of God intersect.

Anyone can read the Bible. Anyone can commit to regular reading time. BUT, what such a resolve accomplishes and whether or not it exists is up to God. Christian, if you would behold God and wait on Him, you must be about the business of getting to know Him. The Bible is His special revelation given and preserved for the sake of His people. The point of today's post is this: We must make good use of His Word.

It is too easy to get caught up in waiting on OTHER things. And that waiting leads us to behold other things.

Choose a time each day, choose a plan, and make use of this means. The meat of God's Word is near, if you would wait on Him and behold Him, you must be about the business of gathering it and feasting upon it and drinking from this well that will not go dry. Check out this article for a list of plans and tons of resources. This is the plan I'm doing in 2016.

I have found that no means accomplishes so much as regular time spent in God's Word. It is in reading that Book that I have come to see God, to desire Him, and to find myself completely dependent on Him. The testimonies of consistent time in its pages have filled little books of their own. 

May 2016 be a year of consistent Bible reading. May God use this grace to fill you with such clear sight of Him that our lives are marked by waiting on and beholding Him.

How are you planning to devote yourself to consistent Bible reading in 2016?

Is this something you struggle with?

One Word: 2016

January 2, 2015 || Photo Credit: My Mom ||

"Make me to know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day long...My eyes are ever toward the LORD..." Psalm 25:4-5 & 15a

When I was in college, I had one professor who seemed to be obsessed with the idea that reality was defined by God. He was always bringing everything back around to his belief that it is only possible to live according to reality if you are consciously aware of God and that any other approach to life is basically wandering around in a type of dream state or worse yet, psychosis. I was drawn to his firm belief in this philosophy of life and still find myself challenged by it to this day.

It is crucial that we are always aware of the reality of God. We need to be aware and we need to be enamored with Him. Being aware of God means that we KNOW Him, that we are WATCHING for His hand at work, and that we are TRUSTING Him with every moment of time. My professor was right. Everything in existence was created by God. To walk around for a single second without Him on our minds is insanity. He is reality. We face reality when we face Him and keep our faces turned to Him.

We all know that this is HARD. It's hard to go along in constant communion with God. It's hard to see a child suffering at the hands of irresponsible parents. It's hard to want desperately to conceive a child of your own and realize that another month has gone by and your womb is still empty. It's hard to watch the news. It's hard to go through the easy times and still cling to God the way we do on the darkest of days. It's hard to get our minds to reach outside of ourselves and live in light of eternity instead of our current desires. In short, it's HARD to face reality.

As Christians, we have reality Himself working for us so that we WILL see and know and cling and BEHOLD. We can face reality knowing that every single thing that has ever happened has passed through the hands of God and is meant for the good of His people (which is to be made more like Christ) and the glory of His name. This same is true for everything that ever will happen too.

God never tells people to do something without equipping them to do it. Scripture is full of assurances of this. Behind every command is truth and grace and means. The command to live for the glory of God in 1 Corinthians is surrounded by truths that explain exactly what that is, assurances that His grace makes it possible, and reminders of HOW it's even possible in the first place. That's just ONE example.

I believe that the three crucial means by which it is possible for us to face reality and live in light of it (again this is the fact that God IS and that He upholds everything). There may be more, but over the years these are the ones I've found to be indispensable: purposeful prayer, consistent Bible reading, and regular communion with other Christians. All three of these means are KEYS in the life of Christ - the one who faced reality, was enamored with God, depended on Him for everything, and remained in trusting communion with him. When these resolves are ours are met with God's grace, things begin to make sense and I might even say, a little bit easier.

My word for 2016 is BEHOLD. Beholding God is the great joy of my life and I want 2016 to be about developing a real habit of it. I want to see the sun rise and have this thought welling up in my soul, "behold your God!". I want to hear a tree fall and see that it completely missed our house and fence and the bushes and say to those around me, "behold our God!". I want to see an accident on the side of the road and remind my soul to remain confident, "behold our God!" I want to face anxiety head on by preaching to myself, "Why are you downcast, my soul? Hope in God. Behold your God!"

My professor was right, when God offers you His hand and commits Himself to being YOUR God, ANYTHING short of committing yourself to Him IS insane. May 2016 be a year of BEHOLDING Him in a way that I've never quite beheld Him before. May habits be formed and the walls of hope shored up.

"It will be said on that day, 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him that He might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for Him; let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation." Isaiah 25:9

What's your word for 2015?

One Word 2015

Jan. 1, 2015 - Photo Credit: My Brother

Reflecting on the year behind has looked a lot different this year. I spent the last bit of 2014 and the first bit of 2015 on the other side of the country...Even though the West Coast has been my home since shortly after my 5th birthday, the East Coast has always felt like "home". It has been really great to be surrounded by my aunts and uncles and cousins over the last few weeks.

I've kept wanting to pinch myself because the happiness has almost been overwhelming at times. Looking around and seeing all of the familiar faces has forced me to pause just to take it all in. These last few weeks have had me looking back on 2014 and WAY beyond.

These people know my story...They know where I come from, because they came from the same place! Reflecting on familiar things with other people is one of my favorite things to do.

I've been kicking around a lot of words for 2015 and I haven't decided on one yet. Here's the list so far:


* Dream - This trip made me realize how important it is to me to get back down here. I think it was the moment I totally lost it as I was standing on my Uncle George's front porch for the first time in 13 years...

* Reach - A move might not happen for a few few years, but I really do want to start figuring out what it will take to make it work and more importantly, how I can get the rest of my family to move too!

* Breathe - I'm really good at holding my breath in hesitation. I want 2015 to be a year of less hesitating.


There have been a few other words, but I can't think of them this morning...

The point is, I want to continue trusting in God and looking to Him for direction. We may not be here long, but there is a lot to take in while we are. May 2015 be a year of being sure in God and not being paralyzed by fear or anxiety.

What's your word for 2015?
 

Stay In The Word

September 22, 2014

To become you must behold...

I want to be a Christian whose joy in God is real and deep. Being that kind of Christian means that I know Him and that I am becoming like His Son who trusted and obeyed Him with all that He was.

In order to know Him, I must behold Him in His Word. The miracle of sanctification (becoming like him) happens as I come into contact with that Word.

Over and over again I've been hearing:

beholding is becoming

study your Bible

God makes Himself known through His Word

And slowly but surely, I watch and see that this is true. Our problem is sin. Sin enslaves and blinds and lies. God is the only one who can beat sin. Unless we are submitting ourselves to God and His Word, our supposed "fight" against sin is a vain one.

Oh, we may overcome it, but only in our own strength. Our strength fails eventually....But God's strength never fails. The strength we get from Him is a strength we can always count on.

"The source of your fire is God and He is always burning." Dr. Paul Jehle

Warm yourself by that fire, Christian. Behold your God in His Word and join Him in burning with the fire that is fueled by His glory. If you do one thing this fall, let it be this: stay in the Word. 

What are you studying in the Bible right now? 

What "one thing" has God been teaching you about over and over again lately? 

 

Go link up with Susannah!
  

Aiming in 2014

A few years ago I found out that the average person can read the Bible in about 90 hours.  I still haven't put in the 90 consecutive hours to accomplish this goal. Those 90 hours are pretty much always floating around in my brain.

Peter Kroll recently posted about his strategy for reading through the whole Bible. He is a reader and he applies his love for reading to the Bible. You can read the post over HERE if you like. 

His strategy is this - at the beginning of the year he puts aside all other reading and only reads the Bible until he has read through the whole Bible. 

 

If you read the article by Kroll, you'll see that during this "run" he reads just to read, knowing that he'll be done soon and then he can pick up studying again. 

I thought this was a great idea! I've always loved books and words. Over the last few years I've become more of a reader. I'm still no bookworm, but I thought, "I can do this!". 

I printed out a Chronological reading plan and I'm aiming to read the Bible the way that I read books until I've read through the entire thing. 

As of last night, I've read through Genesis and Job and I'm halfway through Exodus.

What's your strategy? How are you reading the Bible right now?

Basically, I'm excited to see ALL of Scripture over the course of just a few months in order to see the bigger picture more clearly.

In a post of his own, Justin Taylor laid out some specific plans for reading the Bible in 2014. You can read the post HERE.

He quotes Thomas Watson who said, 

"A Christian without meditation is like a solider without arms, or a workman without tools. 

Without meditation the truths of God will not stay with us; 

the heart is hard, and the memory is slippery, and without meditation all is lost.”

 

How true Watson's words are! 

My heart IS hard. My memory IS slippery. I need to be IN the Bible so that my tools stay sharp and my soul has TRUTH to meditate on. 

My library card won't be very busy and my goodreads won't be updated...but my SOUL will be GATHERING treasure! 

Won't you join me?

2014: One Word

I've been writing this post in my head since Saturday while I was driving with my Mom and brother and sister to do some shopping in another town. It was a cold, foggy day and the van was quiet.

As we were driving along I suddenly realized that because of the fog I had no idea what was beyond us more than thirty feet in any direction. Sure, I could see a bit of road ahead of us along with some pieces of field to the left and right of us, but outside of those borders, I was clueless. 

That was the last Saturday of 2013, so naturally I was thinking about 2014. 

It hit me. This year, like other times in my life, I'm in a place where there is a lot of FOG. 

The fog gives me BORDERS. I really have no idea what God has in store for 2014. No amount of looking gives me even a HINT as to what lies ahead. 

Many people are quick to offer me patches of field to the left and right...Yet, I'm quite happy right where I am. I am enjoying "the ride in the van".

In other words...

2013 came to an end. The fog settled in, leaving me with no idea as to what will be ahead.  Though the fog surrounds me, I know where I am and I know what joy God gives me in that place. 

Whatever IS beyond the fog, my word for 2014 is simply this, GATHER. 

In Jeremiah 23:29 it says, "Is not My Word like fire, declares the Lord..." In the advent study, "Good News For Great Joy", John Piper wrote of this Word, "Gather ‘round that fire this Advent season. It is warm. It is sparkling with colors of grace. It is healing for a thousand hurts. It is light for dark nights."

 As far back as August, I thought my word was going to be DECLARE. Then it kind of morphed into DECLARE and DEMONSTRATE. And now, all of that is tied together in one simple word - GATHER. 

I chose gather because:

it's a call for ME to gather MYSELF around this fire of God's Word.

it's a call for ME to gather FOR myself the warmth of WISDOM that I find there.

it's a call to gather OTHERS with me by pointing them to God's Word. 

it's a call to gather WITH others in order to go TOGETHER in the ways of WISDOM. 

Love God. Love people. Fight sin. 

It's the theme, the aim, of every year that I call earth my dwelling place. 

In 2014, I have one hope and that is that God will gather His people to Himself. 

My part is to DRINK and to DECLARE and to DEMONSTRATE. 

God's Word is so many things and every single one of the things that it is can be summed up in this: LIFE giver and sustainer. 

The fog may be thick, but of this I am sure, God is calling His people to GATHER; where He calls, He leads. 

GATHERING near the Word by myself and alongside God's people, I will find everything necessary to continue hoping in God. 

Hoping in God, 2014 will be a year well spent.

The fog may lift, clear, or thicken, but the fire, the fountain, the bread, will be there ready for us to gather, to drink, and to feast upon...This Word does not disappoint because it comes from the One who is the most satisfying.

2013: One Word

As I prepare to look back on 2012, I am excited to look ahead to 2013! 

I really don't have any specific reason to be excited for this year, but for some reason, I am really looking forward to it. 

The last few years have been difficult years for me. There have been HUGE high lights and I have definitely enjoyed them. Still, I have had some things to deal with and face and decide. Things that I didn't see coming.

Nevertheless, God has seen me through. I have wrestled and struggled. I have been extremely happy and extremely sad. 

I feel ready to move on.

I feel ready for something new.

Maybe that's what makes 2013 different. It is one big empty slate. An empty slate, I am trusting God to fill.

He has been there in times that I have called "good" and called them good. He has been there in times that I have called "bad" and called them good. Maybe now, more than ever, I know that He is always at work. 

For 2013, I have decided to dwell on one word. In dwelling on that word, I will make it my goal to pursue it and look for it throughout the year. The word I will try to live out is this: DRINK. 

" Jeremiah 2:13, 'Be appalled, oh heavens, at this. Be shocked. Be utterly dismayed. For My people have committed two great evils. They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living water and have hewn out for themsleves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water.' 

Go to the fountain, go to the fountain. The opposite of coming to the fountain is evil, the essence of coming to the fountain is drinking and drinking and drinking until it satisfies your soul and you say, 'Ahhhh...'" 

John Piper

WHATEVER 2013 holds, the ONE thing that I MUST do is DRINK. More even than my body needs water, my soul needs water. I do not feed my body just any water. Neither can I feed my soul just any water.

God has given me an unlimited supply of the water my soul needs. Yet, over the last few years, through everything that has happened, I haven't given my soul the water. I have held my breath. I have grown weary and anxious. At points, I was even ill.

In 2013 I am sure there will be cooking and traveling and time with friends and pictures and writing and shopping. The day to day events of 2013 will probably look a lot like the events of the past 22 years. There may be death and sickness and tragedy or birth and life and health. Since I have no expectations, there will be things that I don't even expect.

WHATEVER 2013 holds, I will set my mind to going to the fountain to DRINK. 

It's simple, it will give me life, and it will make 2013 a year to remember. I hope you'll join me!

What's your focus for 2013?