Living That Way

February 15, 2013

It's the second day of a new year. The first day of business as usual. It's time to get ourselves back together and resume the lives we were leading before we got all distracted by all of the holiday shenanigans.

As I've clicked around the internet the last few days, I've seen post after post about what people are hoping for and planning to accomplish in this new year. Some have been super heartfelt, some have been very practical pieces offering five simple steps to take with you, and others have been quick little reflections.

They all got me thinking.

For one thing, I'm actually pretty happy with who I am and where I am and the habits I call my own. I'm always hearing people ragging on themselves about how they just don't sleep enough or don't drink enough water or would love to exercise, but just can't find the time. I hear them talk about how they procrastinate and hate cooking and cleaning and keeping up on life's minutiae. Every time I hear these kinds of comments I think, "WHY? How hard is it to do what's important to you, especially when you know it'll be good for you?"

I've never stopped someone mid rant. I've never looked at them with raised eyebrows and exclaimed, "Wow. You're a mess." I mean, that's what they're trying to tell me. They're a mess and they know it. And they want to change it. Only, they don't realllly want to. Otherwise, they would.

It's the second day of a new year and I'm in a different place than I have been in over two years. I have a contract waiting for my signature. Once I sign my name to the solid line, I'll know for sure, that I will be in this town at least until the spring of 2019.

Ever since August of 2015, I've been in this weird in-between place. At first, I thought my life was going to consist of going back and forth between The Queen's Cottage and our old town every three months or so. Then, it became clear that that wasn't going to happen, but I assumed that eventually we'd go back for an extended period of time. And then, we never did. We only went back to pack up the house and within a few months, we had a buyer. By the fall of 2016, they had the keys. After that, reality started to sink in. We didn't live in that town anymore. We LIVED here now. This was truly my next "home for now" place.

I wondered how long we'd be here. I gave up on finding my people even though I'd kind of found them like three times over again. I pushed my arms out and went back to being the homebody I used to be. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I volunteered and drove all over hill and dale getting people to where they needed to be. For all the changes and uncertainty, I took a lot of comfort in the fact that MY daily life hadn't changed much at all. I clung to the familiar rhythms of cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and doing laundry and having a garden.

And then, in the summer of 2017 I did a few things for myself. I entertained the possibility of working outside the home and just as fall was getting started, I agreed to two positions. We took a break from theatre and I took a break from every non-essential while I threw myself into figuring out how to do MOST of what I had already done as well as I could now that I had about half as much time to do it in. It wasn't a difficult adjustment. My family is great and I didn't have a choice other than to be patient with myself.

Anyway...Back to this whole new years thing. I know I'm not anywhere close to perfect, but I'm actually pretty happy with who I am and how I spend my time. For the first time in two years I have a bit of a long range picture of where I will be and I've finally agreed to do a few things while I'm here.

I won't be trying to get to bed earlier or to drink more water or to be more active. I won't be trying to buy less junk food and more produce or spend less time on the internet. I won't be trying to read my Bible regularly or spend time actually praying for the people I told I'd be praying for. I certainly won't be trying to lose weight or do a better job of eating out less. I won't be trying to care about people more or doing better at putting them first. And the fact that I can honestly say all of that has me grateful. It's nothing to brag about. It's not because I'm this awesome person who has it all together. The steadiness in my life isn't a work of my own drive or makeup or effort.

All of it, every good habit, every smile, every ounce of dedication, all the willingness to pursue and apply wisdom come straight from God. It's His grace poured out and worked out in me. All I have to do is look to Him in eager expectation and keep looking and then obey.  And even those things come from Him.

So many of us run from living that way. It boils down to thinking that our way will be better and make us happier. We can't and won't follow Him until we hear Him beckoning to us.

I'm going into 2018 with a single word on my mind and the resolve to keep pressing on. One day at a time. One good habit at a time. Sure, there are things that I can work on and I'll  be sure to do that. As I do, there will be one line running through my head, namely, it's God that's getting me through.

The Way I Always Do

April 11, 2017

Back in April, I tagged along with my brother and sister and a few of my sister's friends on a hike. It was the first really warm day we'd had and the trail was buzzing with people. My sister and her friends meandered along while my brother and I took the lead. We stopped every now and then so that people could take pictures or look over the edge or do whatever it was they wanted to do with a short break. 

Somewhere along the way I decided to look for ferns. I didn't know why I wanted to find some so badly, but it seemed important. I told my brother that the woods don't seem like the woods without ferns. Things were really green and there were all these little yellow flowers everywhere, but I couldn't find a single fern. 

I shrugged my shoulders and let it go. We hiked on until we came to this clearing where we decided to set up a hammock and take a long break. My sister and her friends messed around with the hammock while my brother and I climbed around on the rocks. After a while, I took a seat in the sun and my brother took the camera to snap a few shots. 

I was keeping an eye on him, the way I always do when we're out and about, but eventually I lost sight of him. He had climbed down into a dip in the rocks. All of a sudden I heard him yell, "Ferns!"   He came back into view and held up the camera signaling that he'd found my ferns and had taken some pictures of them. I smiled, the way I always do when his sweetness reminds me just how much he loves me. 

Ferns remind me of summer camp and hikes and my grandparents' front porch. They remind me of the cool shade of the woods and nights spent going back and forth between the porch swing and catching lightning bugs. They remind me of growing up and growing old. They remind me of who I am and where I've been. They remind me of days gone by and days yet to come. Maybe that's why I was so set on finding some.

We found some ferns. We finished our hike. We smiled and laughed and took pictures. We made memories. 

A month later, I'm still thinking back on them. The way I always do. 

On Faith

April 11, 2017

"By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, 'Through Isaac shall your offspring be had.' He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking he did receive him back."
Hebrews 11: 17 & 18

Faith is a word that carries a lot of meaning in the mind of the Christian. It is by faith that we became Christians. It is by faith that we attempt to live. It is something that we admire in one another and esteem pretty highly as far as virtues go.

We know people who pray about everything from parking places and food to the church around the world and concerns in the lives of people that they know. We know people whose every word of advice comes straight from Scripture. We know people whose very countenance is like a breath of fresh air. We know them and we long to be like them.

Last week, I had three different conversations about faith. As it usually goes when a theme shows up, I didn't go looking for it. Three different people brought faith up and had specific things to say about it. I listened and smiled and tucked the conversations away. Abraham came up multiple times, so I went digging for his story. We've heard it so many times and encouraged one another with it, but it was time for me to go back to look it over with fresh eyes.

Abraham's life illustrates the hand of God in the lives of His people. God tells His people to have faith and then He shows them how. He tests that faith and, if I'm honest, I don't know exactly what that testing looks like or how to recognize it. I only know that I know faith when I see it and that faith in the face of real life is absolutely beautiful.

Abraham believed. His faith prepared him to obey. Time and time again, he didn't know how it was going to work out, he only knew that it would. And that's what we need. We need to be patient. We need to believe. God will make a way, even when there doesn't seem to be any way. What is meant to be, will be.

There's more to this theme and we'll come back to it another day. For now, I just wanted to get some words on faith down. I don't know what you're going through or what you're waiting on. I don't know what God is calling you to bear or to enjoy. But, I know this: God means for His people to be men and women whose lives are marked by faith.

He may keep you waiting. He may call you to endure more than you think you can. Faith is about looking to God no matter what. It leads to obedience and peace and joy. Circumstances can really mix us up, but remembering that they are all in His hands means that we can face them with our chins up and shoulders straight. What is meant to be, will be.

May we have the faith that looks to God and to the day at hand with confidence in His good plan. May this faith stir up the kind of obedience that delights in God even when that seems hard or impossible. May our waiting and enduring and enjoying and obeying make it possible for those around us to say of us, "By faith ______, when ______, ______." It's been said of many before us and will be said of many after us. God is seeing to it. Remember that.

Whose faith do you admire? 

Looking Forward

March 29, 2017

Every now and then it's fun to take some time to think about things that we are looking forward to. I think it's safe to say that Kiki is the one who got me started on this. I don't do it alllll the time, but when I do, I'm glad that I did. It's a short-term bucket list of sorts.

I'm looking forward to...

* Reading the rest of C.S. Lewis's Space Trilogy.

* The first swim of the summer.

* Planting my garden.

* Taking a trip to SC. I never travel. Except for when I do.

* Some seriously HOT days. I'm a freak and I can't wait.

* The first iced toasted marshmallow latte of the year.

* Hearing the results of the writing contest. UPDATE: I placed!!!

* Taking naps in the sun again.

* The next time Jay comes to town.

* Reading MHC's newest release.

Your turn! What are some things you're looking forward to?

Exploring the Cape pt. 2

The final stretch of road that took us to Provincetown was amazing. There was sand everywhere except for on the road. The streets of Provincetown were super narrow and I'm honestly not sure how people even get around there during the height of the summer. It was beautiful with a lot of old world kind of charm to it.

We ate our picnic lunch in the safety (and warmth) of the van before wandering down the boardwalk or pier or whatever it's called. A police officer stopped to show Joshua the siren on his cruiser.

We headed back to the car and watched a poor guy load wrestle a port-a-potty onto the back of his truck. The WHIPPING wind was NOT making it an easy task. Hearing Jake and Paul cheer him on with their British ways of saying things made it ten times more funny than it already was. 

The day was getting on and the car had grown silent. We'd seen all that there was to see and we were headed home for a quiet night with Hannah's parents. We'd gone from strangers to friends. The silence was comfortable and interrupted with bursts of conversation or snippets of songs that were possibilities for the reception. Joshua suggested several of his favorites. He knew the titles AND could hum enough of the beat that Jake knew EXACTLY what he was talking about.

 The first day of my trip couldn't have gone ANY better.

Open Letters pt. 3

March 30, 2017

You guys, I just finished sitting down with God and my journal to go over a few things. Do you ever do that? Let me tell you...It's good for the soul! It's shaping up to be another sunny day which can go down on the list of the things I'm grateful for right now.

Last night, I hosted my second "somebody else sent the invites" get together and it went really well. When you tell God you want to work on something, He gives you opportunities. I'm making the most of them, saying "let's do this" as often as I can, and praising Him for the grace that He is granting me along with each one.

It's Friday...The house is CLEAN, I'm meeting with Jay for coffee, hoping to have Abigail over, and going over to Emily's for tea tomorrow. It almost seems like I'm overdoing it, but then, maybe this is just the way things are going to go for a while. In any case...How about a few letters?

Dear Easter 2017,

You were about as lowkey as they come and I kind of loved you. From spending alllll morning at church eating and worshipping and visiting to laying around the house for the rest of the day with my family, you turned out to be just what we needed.

Dear McCafe,

I should have known that your coffee was going to be the worst. Just a little tip, you've really got to switch things up. Take a line from Don Francisco's book. We won't be buying you again. Sorry. Only, not really.

Dear John,

Thanks for including the words of God in verse 28 of chapter 12. I can't get that verse out of my mind lately and I'm super grateful. Ever since I was a kid, I've needed to know the reason behind everything I do and that verse has been doing all kinds of work in my heart lately.

Dear Rachael,

That spa night we had last month was just what I needed. Between the face scrub and that mask, my face hasn't been this soft in years. Every time I wash my face, I'm still amazed at how soft it still is. We may just have to have some east coast/west coast spa nights. I wasn't kidding about facetiming when you're having a night in...Let's make this happen!


Wherever you find yourself this Friday, I hope your soul is feeling refreshed!!! The sun comes out after the night passes. It's something we can count on. Happy Weekend!

Basking With Dickinson

Here's a post I've had sitting around in my drafts folder since Jan. 5. Enjoy!

March 30, 2017

I see thee better in the dark, 
I do not need a light.
The love of thee a prism be
Excelling violet.

I see thee better for the years
That hunch themselves between, 
The miner's lamp sufficient be
To nullify the mine.

And in the grave I see thee best-
Its little panels be
Aglow, all ruddy with the light
I held so high for thee!

What need of day to those whose dark
Hath so surpassing sun,
It deem it be continually
At the meridian? - Emily Dickinson

If you've been around here for a while, you'll remember that I've gotten into poetry over the last few years and that however cliche it sounds, Dickinson is one of my favorite poets. I meandered over to the poetry section at the library on the last day of the year and came away with a small volume of her poems in my hand. I devoured a good bit of it while I waited for my Mom to get off of work.

The sun was shining as I sat in the van reading poem after poem. When I got to this particular poem, I stopped and read it through several more times. In these four stanzas, Dickinson had captured what I had been learning from God. It goes along so well with my word for 2017 that I had to share it here with all of you.

Oh, that I would be one whose dark had a sun that made it seem as though I lived right at the equator (or as I have since learned, that "meridian" can refer to the noonday sun). As one of God's own, I DO have such a sun. My prayer for this year is that I would bask in it whatever darkness threatens to draw me away.

Have you read any poems that are especially good lately? 

Has your word been showing up? 

Exploring the Cape pt. 1

Getting to MA was an overnight expedition this time around. Normally, I try to catch flights that leave early in the day so that it's not super late by the time I make it to the east coast. It turns out that flying out after dinner, traveling through the night, and then arriving mid-morning the next day is actually really, really nice. I'm not sure if I had a unique experience, but from the way my trip went, I would highly recommend this kind of flying. I kept telling everyone that I felt great even though I was giving it a few days to see if things caught up with me. They never did. 

Airports are always entertaining. It turns out that they are especially entertaining in the middle of the night. I only slept on the planes, so my airport time was spent doing some major people watching. At one point, I was convinced that I was sitting feet away from Anne Lamott. I may have been, but after totally staring at her for the longest time, I changed my mind. People were doing laps. There was a lady talking at the top of her lungs on her cell phone. And then there was a guy who was on both of my flights. He was SUPER friendly and I think he made friends with nearly every person on the plane. He wandered around the gate chatting up whoever he made eye contact with. 

The morning after I arrived in MA, my friend Hannah announced that we were going to pile into the van to explore the Cape. There was a lot of rain, people were fighting sicknesses, and yet, the day was sunny and about as warm as it was going to get, so we needed to make the most of it. Hannah, Jake, Paul, Marja, Joshua, Finn, and I maxed out the mini van with plans to see Coast Guard Beach, The Atlantic Spice Co in Truro, and Provincetown. We took along a picnic lunch and headed out with the whole day ahead of us. 

I've known Hannah since I was 19, but had only met everyone else HOURS before. It was kind of hilarious being in the car with a bunch of strangers who also happened to be British. I kept finding myself tuning out their conversation because A) it didn't feel like it was my business to listen and B) it occasionally sounded like a foreign language. They were all super friendly and a day exploring the Cape was the perfect way to get to know everyone A LOT better. 

Coast Guard Beach was every bit as beautiful as I remembered it. Making our way out further onto the Cape was exciting to me. Especially since tourist season was still at least a month away. Things were deserted and deserted tourist towns make amazing places to explore. We took our time. We looked at what we wanted to look at. We weren't rushed or hurried along by other vacationers. We had almost everywhere we went allllll to ourselves. 

At Coast Guard Beach, Joshua (who is 4 1/2 years old) came over to me and pressed two sea shells into my hand. I tucked them into my purse. That little boy managed to work his way right into my heart over the course of our visit to MA. We played with his toys, making sure the "baddies" and the "goodies" were equally matched. We read books. We ate snacks. We played outside. And in short, we became fast friends. By the time the wedding rolled around, he was my little buddy. He even left his place at the front of the church during the middle of the ceremony to walk down the aisle and wave at me. <3 nbsp="" p="">

Back to the first real day of my trip...Hannah, Marja, Finn, and I chose to stay close to the cliffs to stay out of the wind. Jake, Paul, and Joshua headed straight for the part of the beach where the tide was going in and out. They got as close to the water as they could without getting wet. There was one point where Joshua ALMOST fell right into the ocean. He was being sooooo careful to follow Jake's lead, but the sand was mushy and it was a close call. Jake looked like a Nervous Nellie, Joshua was totally shocked, and the rest of us thought it was absolutely hilarious.

The Atlantic Spice Company is a fun little stop. I overheard one lady telling her friend that her Mom ALWAYS stops there whenever she visits. I can't say that I wasn't keeping my eye out for Mary Higgins Clark, just in case.

And there you have Part One...I've got one more post to share on this day and then a handful of others to cover the rest of my trip! We'll get through them.

Have you ever been to Cape Cod? 

Welcoming Them In

March 29, 2017

Making friends can be TOUGH. We talk about it all the time. We move to a new place or get a new job or settle into a new church and all of a sudden we realize just how much having friends means to us. We strike up conversations and go to gatherings in an attempt to connect with people to share our lives with. We meet a lot of nice people. We meet some really strange people. We discover who has time and space and who doesn't. Explaining ourselves over and over again grows old. Just about the time we decide we can't do this much longer, things click. We settle in. We look around and realize that one friend turned into a whole group of them and it wasn't so bad after all.

I'm finally to that point. I didn't know that I was, but going away for two weeks made it clear that I am. It took a solid year before I met someone who wanted and had time for the same kind of friendship I was looking for. I don't know if my attitude changed or if being her friend meant that some of her friends became my friends by default, but six months later, I found myself on the other side of the country looking forward to the get togethers that would happen when I got home. If you've ever started over from scratch in a new place or grown weary in the hunt for some good friends who live nearby, then you know how HUGE this is.

I spent a lot of months trying to be super friendly and it wore me out. When I had reached the place where I was admitting that I was tired of meeting people, all of a sudden, I became fast friends with someone. We got together when we could and texted in between times. I was satisfied with having just ONE solid friend, but God wasn't finished. I kept putting myself out there and slowly but surely, I connected with more people. Connecting is one thing. Welcoming them in is another.

The work of welcoming them in means being honest. It means explaining yourself, asking questions, answering questions, and really taking time to listen. It means making time and granting time. It means learning things about them and trying to find common ground. I've never been the kind of person who needs to have a ton of friends. I like to have one or two people who know me really well and are just as much my go-to person as I am theirs. That said, I have a lot of long distance relationships. I've learned that having friends close by is important too.

When my attitude about anything bothers me, I step back. I ask myself what bothers me, why it bothers me, how I got there, and what I need to do to "fix" it. As you know, my attitude towards hospitality had reached an all time low and I KNEW that things HAD to change. So, I did what I do. I wrote it out. I prayed it out. I sought God. I talked to myself and observed myself and figured out that I already knew what I needed to do.

Before I left for my trip, I had two very specific opportunities to practice what I was calling myself to do. My friend Annika texted me asking if I wanted to meet up for a walk. Schedules were tight, but I found a way to make it work. She left her car at my house and we walked the trail my brother and I bike. We walked and talked and it was great to stretch our legs on such a long walk after so many months of being cooped up. When we made it back to my house, a voice in my head told me that I should invite her in. I knew that voice was right...So, I did. I invited her in for tea. I offered her some of the cookies I had made the day before. We sat in my living room and talked about her family's new business venture and who knows what else.

A few days later, I was with some friends who were talking about a movie that I knew about but had never seen. One thing turned into another and by Saturday, we were planning a get together to watch it. That voice popped up again telling me to offer to host it. It was the Saturday before I flew to MA. I was busier than busy getting ready for my trip, keeping up with regular life stuff, and running extra errands that had to be done before I left. But, I spoke up and invited them in. The next afternoon, I bustled around the kitchen making simple snacks. The time we had set arrived and the doorbell rang. One by one, they came in. We stood around my kitchen munching on snacks and visiting. We started the movie and when it was over, we sat in silence until the conversation picked back up. We moved back into the kitchen and talked and talked until everyone decided that they really had to go.

Neither offer was a big deal. It was a cup of tea, a movie, some cookies, and a buffet of snacks. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't fancy, it was just welcoming them in. And you know, it was really nice.

I told you to ask me how it was going when I got home. And I'm checking in to tell you that it's going a lot better. Sometimes hospitality falls into our laps, like it did the day after I got home. Other times, hospitality is something that we have to consciously pursue. I'm working on it. So far, I'm doing alright.

Have you ever started over in a new place?

How is hospitality going for you right now?

Since I've Been Home

April 7, 2017

After a long day of travel involving a brief run-in with airport security that included a pat down and hand swabbing as well as a bag search because of some trail mix that apparently looked questionable, I arrived home late Tuesday night. I have to give it to everyone I encountered at the airport. They were all super friendly and extra helpful. The lady at the gate even re-routed my flight so that I wouldn't have to go through JFK (I was sort of bummed about that, but glad that it meant I wouldn't be getting stuck in an airport). I visited with a guy from Maine on my first flight and a Zag student on the last. I slept and read and people watched just like I always do.

When I arrived at baggage claim, my sister was waiting for me holding a piece of paper with my last name written on it. Maybe I was tired, but seeing as how she had no idea what I had gone through that day, I found it hilarious. We snagged my bag after being "jumped" by my brother (whose favorite thing in the world is to scare me from behind) and made our way to the van where they had two lunchables and my favorite chocolate milk for me to snack on.

When I got home, I washed my hands and then fell into bed. Because I am a crazy person, I only slept five or six hours before finding myself completely awake. I settled into my chair with a coffee and the fact that I was "home" began to sink in. I opened the curtains and realized that it was going to be a beautiful day. After rain, rain, and more rain, I was pretty excited about that. I got ready for the day and hours after I arrived home it was time to jump back into my routine. While on the way to my first errand of the day, I got a message that some friends of ours were coming over to spend the night. Over coffee I had told my Mom that I would need a few days to settle in...God had other plans. 

My family made sure that I came home to a clean house, but there were still some "company is coming" things to take care of. I got all my laundry done, washed the screen door that was installed while I was away, and then set about getting the house ready for Nick and Jeremy's visit. I was making decent time. When I went out to sweep the porch I realized that what I call "basketball in the driveway weather" had arrived...It was the perfect night to shoot hoops. Unfortunately, my brother had a lot of homework. Fortunately, I came up with a plan b and got someone else to go. 

I turned back onto my street to hear a diesel engine slowing down beside me...Nick rolled down the window and I realized that our company had arrived earlier than I expected. We swapped hugs and "my goodness, it's been a long time" greetings and made our way into the house where we sat for several hours just catching up. Before we knew it, it was getting LATE and since they needed to be on the road by 6 the next morning, we called it a night. 

I was up and at em' around 5 the next morning to fix some eggs and biscuits before they headed on their way. When they left, I realized that the last two weeks were catching up with me. I felt sooooo drained. I had some things to do, but after that, the rainy day was the perfect invitation to lay down for however long of a nap I needed. I knew I wanted to go to my Thursday night group, but I wasn't sure if I had it in me. By the time I needed to start dinner, I realized that I was feeling slightly more with it. I made some pizza dough and prepped a salad and announced that dinner was ready just in time for me to head out the door. 

I made it through a few hours of volleyball, took second in a game of bump, and basically kept myself upright on the basketball court. I stuck around for a bit of visiting and then I wandered out to the van in a daze. I went to bed when I got home and didn't wake up until after 9 this morning. I'm feeling a lot better, which is a good thing because I've got a lot going on over the next few days. 

The weather has been warm and sunny, cold and wet, and full on stormy (we're talking thunder and hail and wind) which honestly kind of matches what's been going on inside of me. I'm grateful for the last two weeks and everything I had here waiting for me at home. I almost always hit the ground running when I get home and yet it's always a little discombobulating. 

I still have a few things in my suitcase to put away and pictures to put on the computer and surprises to hand out and a thank you note to mail. My feet will be underneath me soon enough. So much has happened since I've been home. This weekend is going to be more of the same. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

What have you been up to?

Do you take it slow when you get home from a trip?

On Rest: Part Three

February 23, 2012

If you haven't read Part One and Part Two in this series on Rest, you may want to do that now.

Like I said before, Mark 6 isn't mainly about rest or food. It's about the Gospel. It's about learning how to respond when interruptions come. 

Today is the part where I tell you where these truths found ME. I've been to God's Word. I've journaled and prayed my way through this theme that God is bringing to my attention. And like He almost always does, He keeps bringing it up. Kaycee wrote about rest when she linked up with Renee.  Matthias Media shared a post about One-To-One ministry on their FB page. As I was cooking dinner (brats, alfredo, and salad) for my family last night, I had my iPod set to shuffle and this sermon by Carl Medearis came on. I thought I was done learning what I had to learn from Mark 6, but I was WRONG. 

I was in the mood for music, but something about Medearis's message sucked me in. I didn't hit the skip button. I listened and before I knew it, I was REALLY listening. Things are tighter than they've been in a long time. We're spending more money on gas and theatre stuff than ever before. I know it's what we came here to do, but I put a lot of pressure on myself not to waste a single cent as I keep our pantry stocked with food. It's to the point where I'm terrified that an extra mouth or two will show up for dinner because I know I've only set aside EXACTLY how much meat we need to feed the five of us. I've actually encouraged my brother and sister to plan game nights and get togethers so that people show up after any reasonable meal hour so that I don't have to figure out how or what to feed them. 

And this is me...The one who loves to feed people. The person who has always been complimented on how welcome she makes people feel. The girl who thought hospitality might be one of her gifts. I've turned into the person who can come up with at least five excuses of reasons NOT to invite people over for dinner without even trying. I've turned into the person who guards the nights we have at home to ourselves because they seem to be so few and far between. I've turned into the person who doesn't see interruptions the way Jesus taught His disciples to. And I don't like it. 

I'm beginning to see now that I am in desperate need of God's grace where hospitality is concerned. He's shown me that there will ALWAYS be strength for the work He calls me to. And I want to get this clear, I'm not talking about visiting with widows or taking care of children or feeding homeless people or preparing sermons. I'm talking about staying out at rehearsals and auditions and shows until LATE a bunch of nights in a row. I'm talking about spending anywhere from 1 to 4+ hours in a car in one day driving around in circles getting people to where they need to be. I'm talking about figuring out how to arrange my day around said taxi duties so that the laundry still gets done, the groceries get picked up, and the meals are prepared. I'm talking about being super emotional over the fact that there just doesn't seem to be any time left over to go visit my friends that live only a few hours away. He's granted me strength and shown me that every ounce of it came from Him just when I needed it. I trust that He's about to do the same thing with hospitality. 

Funny that He would choose one (a story about rest) to introduce the other (a lesson on hospitality). That's how He works, you guys. Here a little, there a little. He calls us to BE His people and then He shows us how. 

I don't have the answers. I know what Mark 6 and Medearis have made me WANT to do. I know that I want to stay in the Word. I know that I want to continue consciously basking in the light that God is to His people so that it becomes a habit. I know that I want to take time each day to quiet my soul before Him. And now, I know that I want to view interruptions the way He does and to use them the way He would, as though they are part of the plan. After all, they are. Like one of my favorite Southern Gals always says, "There is no plan B with God." 

I'm writing this on March 9 and by the time you read this, I'll be with friends in MA who are like family. I've had a lot of those over the years and each and every one of them has opened up their home, their family, and their dinner table to me on countless occasions. I've had some amazing examples of what it is to be hospitable, but somewhere along the way there was a major disconnect. 

I know it doesn't have to be perfect. I know it doesn't have to be fancy. And I know that God calls His people to imitate Him. So, ask me how it's going when I get home. 

On Rest: Part Two

May 6, 2014

If you missed Part One, you'll want to go read it now. :) If you read it, then let's pick right back up where we left off! 

So, there they are, pleading with Jesus to send these people away. And Jesus does what He always does. He is moved by compassion for the people, the work His Father is doing, and the concern He has for these men He has gathered to disciple. It's not about rest. It's not about food. It's about the Gospel. A lot is happening here. I don't want us to miss it. Jesus responds to them with a simple sentence. I can imagine the smirk on His face and the gentle tone of His voice. In Mark 6:37, Jesus answers the disciples' pleas like this, he says, "You give them something to eat."

They answer the same way we would. The place is desolate. The crowd is massive. They came here to rest and they are probably just as tired and hungry as the people Jesus has told them to feed. They answer Him accordingly and He tells them to go see how many loaves of bread they have. I think He does this because He wants them to know exactly what is about to happen. They come back with the report, "Five, and two fish." Jesus tells the crowd to sit in groups. He looks to heaven and says a blessing and then gives the food over to the disciples who pass it around to the people. We're very familiar with all of this. We know that everyone got fed and that there were leftovers. We may have even clung to verse 42 which tells us that "they all ate and were satisfied." We know about the five loaves, the two fish, and the 5,000 men.

What I missed and what you may have missed was that the people did not go there intending to teach or feed anyone. They went away to rest at the command of Jesus. They had been working and burying the man sent by God to prepare the way for Jesus. Times were tense and they were more than ready for an opportunity to recharge. What I missed all these years is that Mark 6 teaches us how to treat rest. It teaches us that it's important. It teaches us that it requires a desolate place. It teaches us that it gets interrupted. It teaches us that we need to know how to respond when interuptions come and it teaches us what can happen when we respond the way Jesus does.

They obeyed. They tried to reason their way out of one of the most famous miracles in the history of Jesus's time with them. They acquiesced and obeyed more. The crowd that had gathered was satisfied with the words of Christ and the food He gave them for their bodies. The disciples aren't done yet. We keep reading and we watch as another famous experience takes place. They get back in the boat while Jesus dismisses the crowd and stays behind to pray. The wind rises up against the men in the boat. Like so many of us, they are taking the scenic route to a lesson Jesus is trying to teach them.

It never tells us if they ever got the rest Jesus originally called them to seek. What it does do is show us what the disciples would have missed out on if they would have had their own way. If Jesus and His disciples would have sent that crowd away or hid from them or headed up onto the mountain, one of the most encouraging stories we share with one another never would have happened. The disciples would have got their rest, but those 5,000 men and whatever women and children were with them wouldn't have the testimony of the time they were taught and fed by the Messiah. The disciples would have rested and been recharged. They would have had time to pray. But, they would have missed out on an opportunity to be used by God. When Jesus calmed the wind and joined them in the boat, the chapter begins to come to its close. What follows is a sad declaration of the state of their hearts.

We can read Mark 6 and learn so many things. On my most recent read through, I've learned that:

Rest is vital. If the Son of God needed it, then we certainly need it. True rest requires peace and quiet. We have to silence the voices around us and in us and go away to a desolate place where we can be alone with God. We live in a culture that praises introversion. We are all about self-care and treating ourselves. While we can all use a lesson on what true rest is, we don't have to be taught to value rest or to seek it.

Rest is almost always interuppted. Jesus was interuppted time and time again. He couldn't ever truly get away. In Mark 6, the disciples are interuppted. We are interuppted. The phone rings, the children ask for something, the neighbor knocks on the door or calls over the back fence. Our own minds turn to other things and the rest we set out to get vanishes. Interuptions come and we've got to know how to respond. If it wasn't for Jesus, the disciples (and the 5,000 and those of us who have come after them) would have all missed out on something God was about to do.

I've got one more post to share with you in this series...Until then, would you tell me about a time your rest was interrupted as well as the good work that God allowed you to accomplish because of that interruption?

On Rest: Part One

January 11, 2017

For the last few months I've been spending time reading the Gospels. I'll give you a quick snapshot of how my time in the Word works. I choose a book to focus on and then I make why way through it reading anywhere from a few verses to a handful of chapters at a time. I begin each "session" by journaling, then I switch to reading, and then I alternate between reading, copying down key verses, making notes, and praying until I'm out of time. This usually goes on for about an hour or so.

About a week ago, I made it to Mark 6. Mark is the third gospel that I've read in the last few months, so the details of many of the stories are starting to become familiar. I've noticed that this has freed me up to focus less on the WHAT and more on the WHY of each one. When I came to Mark 6, I read about Jesus being rejected in His hometown, Jesus sending the disciples out with the clothes on their back and a staff to call anyone who was willing to listen into repentance, and then I read about the death of John the Baptist. I reached the end of verse 29 feeling the weight of the faith that these men must have had and the heaviness that must have settled onto their shoulders as they faced each of these events.

Then, in verse 31,  Jesus tells them it's time to follow His lead. He says to them, "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while." The verses that follow tell us that they got into a boat and headed to such a place. I was marveling at this Scripture and wondering how I had missed it during the countless times I've read this book. I've studied Jesus's habit of going away by Himself to pray over and over again. I've tried to figure out how how He knew it was time and just exactly what He did while He was away. I've tried to imitate Him and cling to the Father the way that He did...Here, in Mark 6, Jesus was teaching His disciples to do the thing that I'm convinced sustained Him during His time on earth. So, I'm reading along and thanking God for finally showing me this. I'm copying down the verses and settling in to read what comes next.

Maybe you already know what comes next or maybe you've disconnected these accounts the way that I have. I'm sorry to admit that it's highly likely that I skimmed over verses 30-33 during my previous encounters with this chapter.

Jesus recognized that the disciples needed rest. He tells them to go away to a desolate place to rest for a while. They obey. They get in a boat and head out. A lot has been going on. Some of the most trying days of their early ministry have happened. They are tired and hungry and they must be looking forward to this rest. Then, comes verse 34. They make it to shore and a crowd had figured out where they were going and was gathered together waiting for them. Jesus gets out of the boat and begins to teach them. Get this. Jesus tells the disciples to rest and they are interrupted. The crowd stays gathered. The teaching goes on and on. It grows late. The men who were tired and hungry are more tired and more hungry and the desolate place Jesus told them to find would be the very place they are in except that all these people won't go away. The disciples ask Jesus to send the crowd away to find food for themselves so that the disciples can get to this "rest" they came to this place to find.

What's about to happen is the account of the time five loaves of bread and two fish fed 5,000 men until they were satisfied. Get this. The story they taught you about in Sunday school every year happened because people who were seeking rest in a desolate place were interrupted. I'm still going over all of the implications of this story. The fact that Jesus knew exactly what they were going to find when they reached that desolate place is weighing on my mind. The emotions the disciples must have been feeling are the ones I find myself relating to. The point of the whole encounter is something I do not want to miss.

And since this post is long enough already, I'm going to leave you hanging. We'll pick up part two next week. Until then, I'd love to hear about what you're reading and what God has been teaching you through it! 

You Might Enjoy

January 11, 2017

Since the middle of February I have been consciously collecting a list of things that will help me (or have prepared me to) DO this thing called BASKING that I've set out to do in the year ahead. If I'm honest, the occasional blue skies and the sun poking out from behind the clouds are my steadiest reminder, but there are things along the way that have done a lot of work too.

Here are some resources that have prepared me for 2017:

A sermon: The Glory of God in the Good Resolves of His People by John Piper - I'm not sure how many times I've listened to this sermon, but I've had it on my iPod for two whole years now. It's a theme that's on my mind often. I wrote about it here and it influenced the word I chose to focus on last year.

A book: Grace For the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman - I've read Freeman's blog for YEARS. She writes the way I long to write, connecting her faith to the most ordinary of moments in her everyday life. I read this book a while ago, but it was in its pages that I finally GOT what it was for Jesus to be about His Father's business. This book made me DIG around in the Bible. It encouraged me to look to Christ's example as I sought to BE a Christian. This is NOT another women's book about "letting go and letting God". It will breathe TRUTH into your soul and it will  challenge you to stand firm.

Some prose that reads like a poem: Scrolling through instagram one day back in October, I came across these words by C.S. Lewis (it turns out they were taken from a section out of Mere Christianity). It goes like this:

NEARER

"If you want to get warm

             you must stand 

            near the fire: if

           you want to be 

               wet you must get 

           into the water.

             If you want joy, 

                    power, peace, eternal 

              life, you must get 

                  close to, or even into,

        the thing that 

 has them."

                         - C.S. Lewis

Here are some things that are keeping me focused in 2017:

A playlist: Bask 2017 - This won't be for everyone, but it's the kind of music that I can't help but be grateful to have in my life. These songs have been encouraging me and teaching me and challenging me for years. Hit shuffle and ENJOY!

A plan: Stay in the Gospels - In light of the task this word spurs me onto, I felt the best place to go was to the example of Jesus Christ, Himself. So, I've been spending time with Him in the Gospels. I started with John, then moved on to Mark, and I'm going to start Matthew today. I can't remember who said it, but a theologian of old encouraged every Christian to always have their thumb in the Gospels no matter what other Scripture they were focusing on. In different seasons, I've attempted to do that.

Resolves: Going for walks in silence. Keeping a list of prayer requests handy and going over it or checking back in with the people that have asked me to pray. Journaling out Scriptures and lessons and prayers and preaching the Word to myself. Staying in touch with friends and listening to the stories of grace that they have to share or the burdens of faith they are carrying.

Is there anything you would recommend to me? 

What are some things that have been pointing you to God lately? 

An Encouraging Resolve

Today I am going to join Renee for her link-up.  There is a new theme each month and this time around the theme is encouragement. Renee is the wife of a guy who sounds like one of the good ones, the mother of two little ones, and one of THE most encouraging people I've ever crossed paths with on the internet. She is really good at fostering community, connecting with people, and being 100% honest about how things are going.

February 23, 2013

Well, I sat down to write this earlier today and ended up typing up what turned into a 9 page document that was close to 2500 words long. I think it's really good, but it needs polishing and I'm not sure that a blog is the right place to share a piece like that. So, I'm trying again.

It's Friday night and I just got back from the grocery store. I live it up, you guys. I also went to the mall today. I was hunting for a navy cardigan or a reasonably priced dress. I came back empty handed. I spotted one navy cardigan, but it was more shrug than what I had in mind. I did try on a dress, but then I realized that it looked like a cheerleading outfit from the 70s or 80s. I put it back (I know you were wondering).

There were a number of older couples shopping together. The men wandered aimlessly while the women pulled different things off of the racks in order to inspect them. The music was not only annoying, it was actually raunchy. I may have reached the point I never thought I would ever reach...I felt like every single one of those men. The clothes were ugly, cheaply made, and over priced. The music was horrible. I walked from department store to department store and found that each one seemed to have the same wares to offer.

Tonight, at the grocery store, things were different. I noticed that most of the shoppers seemed to be men and many of them had their kids in tow. There were some people who came by themselves and every single one of them was walking with the kind of slow purpose that many of us make it to the end of the week with. I made my way to from the meat counter to the dairy section and then weaved through the aisles until I made it back to the produce. While I was shopping, my friend Abigail texted me a time or two and I smiled as I typed out my replies. As I headed to the check stands, I noticed that it was starting to get dark outside and for the first time all day I felt the need to hurry up.

How does any of this connect to the theme of encouragement that Renee selected for the link up? If I'm honest...I'm kind of wondering too. Today, I passed human being after human being. I tried on a dress that some of them made. I listened to song after song that entire groups of people worked to write and record and produce. I overheard tidbits of conversation. I waited in line. I exchanged smiles and silly jokes about Route 66 and the Autobahn. The same can be said for you. You rub shoulders with so many people each day. You may be lonely. You may be so busy that you fall into bed at night. You may be sick. You may be having the time of your life.

Wherever you are, whatever the days have been holding for you, there is a resolve that can inspire your entire outlook. It's from the first verse in Psalm 34 and it says, "I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." Just four verses later, it goes on to say, "Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."

Today, I worked on a piece of writing until I ran out of time. I learned that I'm not crazy about the mall these days. I went to the grocery store dragging my feet after seeing my brother and sister off to their play.

As I reflect on the day, I realize that what made today different was that I was blessing the LORD. His praise was in mouth. I can't say for sure whether or not I looked radiant, but I can promise you that it's my deepest hope that people see His glory reflected in my very presence. I have full confidence that my hope in Him is SURE.

That's pretty encouraging. I hope you think so too.

Back to Blogging

February 25, 2014

I apologize if I've bombarded you with posts lately. I have gotten back to blogging before. One of my downfalls is getting into a groove. The problem with coming back is that you are FLOODED with ideas. You take the time to develop each one and schedule posts only to step away because "I have posts scheduled" and then before you know it, you're not back to blogging anymore.

So, this time...I've been writing my ideas down and working on each one a little at a time. It has worked really well so far. I think it's safe to say that I'm "back" again.

Some of my tips from this time around:

Answer emails. People comment. Take time to TALK to them. This is how we bloggers say thank you to one another.

Sit in your chair and write. Take the pictures, upload them, and hit "publish". You don't get to schedule ahead of time yet. If you get too comfy, you'll lose your momentum.

Give yourself specific assingments. Photograph ____ recipe. Collect links for _____. Take an hour to write a post on ______. Honestly, this is the strategy that has made THE most difference.

Make time to read the posts your friends are writing. Don't forget to leave comments to let them know what you think.

Do any of these tips resonate with you?

How has your blogging strategy changed over the years?

Called to Bask

January 11, 2017

I'm struggling with how to introduce this post. I want to write about what it is to live out my word for 2017 and to be honest about how it's going.

On a superficial level, it's going WELL. I'm thinking about God, delighting in the small things, feasting on His gifts, praying over people, and using music to preach to myself. As far as having a disciplined soul goes, it's going HORRIBLY.

The whole purpose of this word is taking time out to be with God. It's about following Jesus Christ's example of slipping away and withdrawing and getting alone with God to pray. It's about going to God for the strength and grace and sustenance that comes from Him alone. If Christ needed this and devoted Himself to this and depended on this, it is something I most certainly cannot live without.

I KNOW this, but somehow, the discipline is lacking and it shows. I had to tell my friend Abigail that I hadn't been in the Word. My bad attitude proves to my family that I'm not actively submitting my spirit to God. The anxiety creeping in proves that I'm not abiding in His Spirit.

You ready for a peek into my journal? (This is for you, Mom!)

via Dec. 29, 2016 //

As I go into 2017, I want to remember that I am waiting on God. I want to BASK in the light of God. I want to bathe in the Word. I want to be one who waits on Him constantly. I want the storm to rage on while I cling to Him. I want to seek His strength and find it and show that I have it. I want to trust His will and His timing for all my hopes.

Isaiah 8:20-22 says, "To the teaching and to the testimony! If they will not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. They will pass through the land, greatly distressed and hungry. And when they are hungry, they will be enraged and will speak contemptuously against their king and their God, and turn their faces upward. And they will look to the earth, but behold, distress and darkness, the gloom of anguish. And they will be thrust into thick darkness."
My attitude lately has been of one who has no dawn. One who looks around beholding distress and darkness and is hungry and in anguish and even enraged. I've felt it. I've taken it out on my family. God's light has shined into my darkness and I want to remember it. His strength came along showing me where my strength is to be found, namely, in Him. He has shown me on whom I wait, namely, on Him. He has granted me light to bask in and is ever ready with strength to endure.

At every turn I'm reminded of God's grace and strength and peace. I'm reminded that He is ruler over all (Psalm 29). That everything is in His hands. And then, waiting becomes sweet. I'm not waiting on anyone but Him. I'll say that again: I am waiting on Him. His timing is perfect and His will is best. Even if the road is slow or lonely, by it I will know Him and become like Christ and it is on that road that I've been begging Him to keep me all these years...If you're looking for me, you'll find me there.

//

And yet, here I am. I've reached the middle of February being reminded of these things and being beckoned into His strength only to disregard the call to BASK. If I'm going to keep this resolve, it's going to take effort and it's high time I do whatever it takes to get back on track.

via Dec. 31, 2016 //

I will need to learn from men like Paul and Christ and Whitefield and Washington. To set time out to be alone with God reading and praying and seeking Him. My priorities need shifting. I know that. My "defaults" need resetting.

//

I'm sharing all of this as a kick in the pants to myself, but also as an encouragement to all of you! Our resolves drive us back to God. They keep us seeking Him and depending on Him and rejoicing in Him, and praising Him.

For me, this going to look like imitating Christ's practice of going away to be with God. I struggle with this because I don't like going away. The thing is, if I'm going to receive God's strength, I've got to go to Him. If I'm going to be one who represents Christ to those around me, I've got to go to the Father just like He did.

If I'm going to bask, I have to bask. 


Let's look to Christ. Let's reset our defaults. Let's put in the effort. Let's BASK. However dark the day, the sun is out!

Letters At The Grocery Store

January 11, 2017

Today seemed like a good day for another installment of letters. This round was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store. The picture above has NOTHING to do with anything. It's just pretty and one of my most recent shots. Here goes...

Dear Lady With The Cart Full of Kids,

I heard you correcting your son and I gave you the smile I give to every mother who looks like she needs it. Your words rang in my ears for hours afterwards. "Personal space, son." Those three words say it all. I wanted to high five you.


Dear Lady With The Giant Bottle Of Wine In Your Cart,

Yes, I did a double take. I've never seen a bottle of wine that large. How long does it take you to drink it? Is it THAT good? Is grocery store wine ever good? Carry on. I was just trying to get to the throat coat tea. Yes, you heard that correctly.


Dear Meat Counter Guys,

Thanks for being so kind. I appreciate your good attitudes and your willingness to see me walk away happy. One little piece of advice though...Learn how to identify the different meats and cheeses once the labels are off. I didn't have the heart to correct you and you sent me away with the wrong ham.


Dear Mr. Greeter Man,

I see you almost every time I go to the store. One of these days we're going to have to swap stories. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go shopping, you are there. Sometimes we say a quick hello or goodbye, but we usually just smile and nod. I see you. I appreciate the way you keep up the entryway. When you're chatting with customers, I wonder who struck up the conversation and if they're people you know. Thanks for all you do, I know it can't be easy.


Update: After posting this I discovered a link-up, so of course I'm joining in! Link up with Kristin.

Have any letters you'd like to "send"? 

What kinds of things do you notice when you're out shopping?