|January 11, 2017|
On a superficial level, it's going WELL. I'm thinking about God, delighting in the small things, feasting on His gifts, praying over people, and using music to preach to myself. As far as having a disciplined soul goes, it's going HORRIBLY.
The whole purpose of this word is taking time out to be with God. It's about following Jesus Christ's example of slipping away and withdrawing and getting alone with God to pray. It's about going to God for the strength and grace and sustenance that comes from Him alone. If Christ needed this and devoted Himself to this and depended on this, it is something I most certainly cannot live without.
I KNOW this, but somehow, the discipline is lacking and it shows. I had to tell my friend Abigail that I hadn't been in the Word. My bad attitude proves to my family that I'm not actively submitting my spirit to God. The anxiety creeping in proves that I'm not abiding in His Spirit.
You ready for a peek into my journal? (This is for you, Mom!)
via Dec. 29, 2016 //
As I go into 2017, I want to remember that I am waiting on God. I want to BASK in the light of God. I want to bathe in the Word. I want to be one who waits on Him constantly. I want the storm to rage on while I cling to Him. I want to seek His strength and find it and show that I have it. I want to trust His will and His timing for all my hopes.
Isaiah 8:20-22 says, "To the teaching and to the testimony! If they will not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. They will pass through the land, greatly distressed and hungry. And when they are hungry, they will be enraged and will speak contemptuously against their king and their God, and turn their faces upward. And they will look to the earth, but behold, distress and darkness, the gloom of anguish. And they will be thrust into thick darkness."
My attitude lately has been of one who has no dawn. One who looks around beholding distress and darkness and is hungry and in anguish and even enraged. I've felt it. I've taken it out on my family. God's light has shined into my darkness and I want to remember it. His strength came along showing me where my strength is to be found, namely, in Him. He has shown me on whom I wait, namely, on Him. He has granted me light to bask in and is ever ready with strength to endure.
At every turn I'm reminded of God's grace and strength and peace. I'm reminded that He is ruler over all (Psalm 29). That everything is in His hands. And then, waiting becomes sweet. I'm not waiting on anyone but Him. I'll say that again: I am waiting on Him. His timing is perfect and His will is best. Even if the road is slow or lonely, by it I will know Him and become like Christ and it is on that road that I've been begging Him to keep me all these years...If you're looking for me, you'll find me there.
And yet, here I am. I've reached the middle of February being reminded of these things and being beckoned into His strength only to disregard the call to BASK. If I'm going to keep this resolve, it's going to take effort and it's high time I do whatever it takes to get back on track.
via Dec. 31, 2016 //
I will need to learn from men like Paul and Christ and Whitefield and Washington. To set time out to be alone with God reading and praying and seeking Him. My priorities need shifting. I know that. My "defaults" need resetting.
I'm sharing all of this as a kick in the pants to myself, but also as an encouragement to all of you! Our resolves drive us back to God. They keep us seeking Him and depending on Him and rejoicing in Him, and praising Him.
For me, this going to look like imitating Christ's practice of going away to be with God. I struggle with this because I don't like going away. The thing is, if I'm going to receive God's strength, I've got to go to Him. If I'm going to be one who represents Christ to those around me, I've got to go to the Father just like He did.
If I'm going to bask, I have to bask.
Let's look to Christ. Let's reset our defaults. Let's put in the effort. Let's BASK. However dark the day, the sun is out!