On Faith

April 11, 2017

"By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, 'Through Isaac shall your offspring be had.' He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking he did receive him back."
Hebrews 11: 17 & 18

Faith is a word that carries a lot of meaning in the mind of the Christian. It is by faith that we became Christians. It is by faith that we attempt to live. It is something that we admire in one another and esteem pretty highly as far as virtues go.

We know people who pray about everything from parking places and food to the church around the world and concerns in the lives of people that they know. We know people whose every word of advice comes straight from Scripture. We know people whose very countenance is like a breath of fresh air. We know them and we long to be like them.

Last week, I had three different conversations about faith. As it usually goes when a theme shows up, I didn't go looking for it. Three different people brought faith up and had specific things to say about it. I listened and smiled and tucked the conversations away. Abraham came up multiple times, so I went digging for his story. We've heard it so many times and encouraged one another with it, but it was time for me to go back to look it over with fresh eyes.

Abraham's life illustrates the hand of God in the lives of His people. God tells His people to have faith and then He shows them how. He tests that faith and, if I'm honest, I don't know exactly what that testing looks like or how to recognize it. I only know that I know faith when I see it and that faith in the face of real life is absolutely beautiful.

Abraham believed. His faith prepared him to obey. Time and time again, he didn't know how it was going to work out, he only knew that it would. And that's what we need. We need to be patient. We need to believe. God will make a way, even when there doesn't seem to be any way. What is meant to be, will be.

There's more to this theme and we'll come back to it another day. For now, I just wanted to get some words on faith down. I don't know what you're going through or what you're waiting on. I don't know what God is calling you to bear or to enjoy. But, I know this: God means for His people to be men and women whose lives are marked by faith.

He may keep you waiting. He may call you to endure more than you think you can. Faith is about looking to God no matter what. It leads to obedience and peace and joy. Circumstances can really mix us up, but remembering that they are all in His hands means that we can face them with our chins up and shoulders straight. What is meant to be, will be.

May we have the faith that looks to God and to the day at hand with confidence in His good plan. May this faith stir up the kind of obedience that delights in God even when that seems hard or impossible. May our waiting and enduring and enjoying and obeying make it possible for those around us to say of us, "By faith ______, when ______, ______." It's been said of many before us and will be said of many after us. God is seeing to it. Remember that.

Whose faith do you admire? 

Basking With Dickinson

Here's a post I've had sitting around in my drafts folder since Jan. 5. Enjoy!

March 30, 2017

I see thee better in the dark, 
I do not need a light.
The love of thee a prism be
Excelling violet.

I see thee better for the years
That hunch themselves between, 
The miner's lamp sufficient be
To nullify the mine.

And in the grave I see thee best-
Its little panels be
Aglow, all ruddy with the light
I held so high for thee!

What need of day to those whose dark
Hath so surpassing sun,
It deem it be continually
At the meridian? - Emily Dickinson

If you've been around here for a while, you'll remember that I've gotten into poetry over the last few years and that however cliche it sounds, Dickinson is one of my favorite poets. I meandered over to the poetry section at the library on the last day of the year and came away with a small volume of her poems in my hand. I devoured a good bit of it while I waited for my Mom to get off of work.

The sun was shining as I sat in the van reading poem after poem. When I got to this particular poem, I stopped and read it through several more times. In these four stanzas, Dickinson had captured what I had been learning from God. It goes along so well with my word for 2017 that I had to share it here with all of you.

Oh, that I would be one whose dark had a sun that made it seem as though I lived right at the equator (or as I have since learned, that "meridian" can refer to the noonday sun). As one of God's own, I DO have such a sun. My prayer for this year is that I would bask in it whatever darkness threatens to draw me away.

Have you read any poems that are especially good lately? 

Has your word been showing up? 

Welcoming Them In

March 29, 2017

Making friends can be TOUGH. We talk about it all the time. We move to a new place or get a new job or settle into a new church and all of a sudden we realize just how much having friends means to us. We strike up conversations and go to gatherings in an attempt to connect with people to share our lives with. We meet a lot of nice people. We meet some really strange people. We discover who has time and space and who doesn't. Explaining ourselves over and over again grows old. Just about the time we decide we can't do this much longer, things click. We settle in. We look around and realize that one friend turned into a whole group of them and it wasn't so bad after all.

I'm finally to that point. I didn't know that I was, but going away for two weeks made it clear that I am. It took a solid year before I met someone who wanted and had time for the same kind of friendship I was looking for. I don't know if my attitude changed or if being her friend meant that some of her friends became my friends by default, but six months later, I found myself on the other side of the country looking forward to the get togethers that would happen when I got home. If you've ever started over from scratch in a new place or grown weary in the hunt for some good friends who live nearby, then you know how HUGE this is.

I spent a lot of months trying to be super friendly and it wore me out. When I had reached the place where I was admitting that I was tired of meeting people, all of a sudden, I became fast friends with someone. We got together when we could and texted in between times. I was satisfied with having just ONE solid friend, but God wasn't finished. I kept putting myself out there and slowly but surely, I connected with more people. Connecting is one thing. Welcoming them in is another.

The work of welcoming them in means being honest. It means explaining yourself, asking questions, answering questions, and really taking time to listen. It means making time and granting time. It means learning things about them and trying to find common ground. I've never been the kind of person who needs to have a ton of friends. I like to have one or two people who know me really well and are just as much my go-to person as I am theirs. That said, I have a lot of long distance relationships. I've learned that having friends close by is important too.

When my attitude about anything bothers me, I step back. I ask myself what bothers me, why it bothers me, how I got there, and what I need to do to "fix" it. As you know, my attitude towards hospitality had reached an all time low and I KNEW that things HAD to change. So, I did what I do. I wrote it out. I prayed it out. I sought God. I talked to myself and observed myself and figured out that I already knew what I needed to do.

Before I left for my trip, I had two very specific opportunities to practice what I was calling myself to do. My friend Annika texted me asking if I wanted to meet up for a walk. Schedules were tight, but I found a way to make it work. She left her car at my house and we walked the trail my brother and I bike. We walked and talked and it was great to stretch our legs on such a long walk after so many months of being cooped up. When we made it back to my house, a voice in my head told me that I should invite her in. I knew that voice was right...So, I did. I invited her in for tea. I offered her some of the cookies I had made the day before. We sat in my living room and talked about her family's new business venture and who knows what else.

A few days later, I was with some friends who were talking about a movie that I knew about but had never seen. One thing turned into another and by Saturday, we were planning a get together to watch it. That voice popped up again telling me to offer to host it. It was the Saturday before I flew to MA. I was busier than busy getting ready for my trip, keeping up with regular life stuff, and running extra errands that had to be done before I left. But, I spoke up and invited them in. The next afternoon, I bustled around the kitchen making simple snacks. The time we had set arrived and the doorbell rang. One by one, they came in. We stood around my kitchen munching on snacks and visiting. We started the movie and when it was over, we sat in silence until the conversation picked back up. We moved back into the kitchen and talked and talked until everyone decided that they really had to go.

Neither offer was a big deal. It was a cup of tea, a movie, some cookies, and a buffet of snacks. It wasn't perfect, it wasn't fancy, it was just welcoming them in. And you know, it was really nice.

I told you to ask me how it was going when I got home. And I'm checking in to tell you that it's going a lot better. Sometimes hospitality falls into our laps, like it did the day after I got home. Other times, hospitality is something that we have to consciously pursue. I'm working on it. So far, I'm doing alright.

Have you ever started over in a new place?

How is hospitality going for you right now?

On Rest: Part Three

February 23, 2012

If you haven't read Part One and Part Two in this series on Rest, you may want to do that now.

Like I said before, Mark 6 isn't mainly about rest or food. It's about the Gospel. It's about learning how to respond when interruptions come. 

Today is the part where I tell you where these truths found ME. I've been to God's Word. I've journaled and prayed my way through this theme that God is bringing to my attention. And like He almost always does, He keeps bringing it up. Kaycee wrote about rest when she linked up with Renee.  Matthias Media shared a post about One-To-One ministry on their FB page. As I was cooking dinner (brats, alfredo, and salad) for my family last night, I had my iPod set to shuffle and this sermon by Carl Medearis came on. I thought I was done learning what I had to learn from Mark 6, but I was WRONG. 

I was in the mood for music, but something about Medearis's message sucked me in. I didn't hit the skip button. I listened and before I knew it, I was REALLY listening. Things are tighter than they've been in a long time. We're spending more money on gas and theatre stuff than ever before. I know it's what we came here to do, but I put a lot of pressure on myself not to waste a single cent as I keep our pantry stocked with food. It's to the point where I'm terrified that an extra mouth or two will show up for dinner because I know I've only set aside EXACTLY how much meat we need to feed the five of us. I've actually encouraged my brother and sister to plan game nights and get togethers so that people show up after any reasonable meal hour so that I don't have to figure out how or what to feed them. 

And this is me...The one who loves to feed people. The person who has always been complimented on how welcome she makes people feel. The girl who thought hospitality might be one of her gifts. I've turned into the person who can come up with at least five excuses of reasons NOT to invite people over for dinner without even trying. I've turned into the person who guards the nights we have at home to ourselves because they seem to be so few and far between. I've turned into the person who doesn't see interruptions the way Jesus taught His disciples to. And I don't like it. 

I'm beginning to see now that I am in desperate need of God's grace where hospitality is concerned. He's shown me that there will ALWAYS be strength for the work He calls me to. And I want to get this clear, I'm not talking about visiting with widows or taking care of children or feeding homeless people or preparing sermons. I'm talking about staying out at rehearsals and auditions and shows until LATE a bunch of nights in a row. I'm talking about spending anywhere from 1 to 4+ hours in a car in one day driving around in circles getting people to where they need to be. I'm talking about figuring out how to arrange my day around said taxi duties so that the laundry still gets done, the groceries get picked up, and the meals are prepared. I'm talking about being super emotional over the fact that there just doesn't seem to be any time left over to go visit my friends that live only a few hours away. He's granted me strength and shown me that every ounce of it came from Him just when I needed it. I trust that He's about to do the same thing with hospitality. 

Funny that He would choose one (a story about rest) to introduce the other (a lesson on hospitality). That's how He works, you guys. Here a little, there a little. He calls us to BE His people and then He shows us how. 

I don't have the answers. I know what Mark 6 and Medearis have made me WANT to do. I know that I want to stay in the Word. I know that I want to continue consciously basking in the light that God is to His people so that it becomes a habit. I know that I want to take time each day to quiet my soul before Him. And now, I know that I want to view interruptions the way He does and to use them the way He would, as though they are part of the plan. After all, they are. Like one of my favorite Southern Gals always says, "There is no plan B with God." 

I'm writing this on March 9 and by the time you read this, I'll be with friends in MA who are like family. I've had a lot of those over the years and each and every one of them has opened up their home, their family, and their dinner table to me on countless occasions. I've had some amazing examples of what it is to be hospitable, but somewhere along the way there was a major disconnect. 

I know it doesn't have to be perfect. I know it doesn't have to be fancy. And I know that God calls His people to imitate Him. So, ask me how it's going when I get home. 

On Rest: Part Two

May 6, 2014

If you missed Part One, you'll want to go read it now. :) If you read it, then let's pick right back up where we left off! 

So, there they are, pleading with Jesus to send these people away. And Jesus does what He always does. He is moved by compassion for the people, the work His Father is doing, and the concern He has for these men He has gathered to disciple. It's not about rest. It's not about food. It's about the Gospel. A lot is happening here. I don't want us to miss it. Jesus responds to them with a simple sentence. I can imagine the smirk on His face and the gentle tone of His voice. In Mark 6:37, Jesus answers the disciples' pleas like this, he says, "You give them something to eat."

They answer the same way we would. The place is desolate. The crowd is massive. They came here to rest and they are probably just as tired and hungry as the people Jesus has told them to feed. They answer Him accordingly and He tells them to go see how many loaves of bread they have. I think He does this because He wants them to know exactly what is about to happen. They come back with the report, "Five, and two fish." Jesus tells the crowd to sit in groups. He looks to heaven and says a blessing and then gives the food over to the disciples who pass it around to the people. We're very familiar with all of this. We know that everyone got fed and that there were leftovers. We may have even clung to verse 42 which tells us that "they all ate and were satisfied." We know about the five loaves, the two fish, and the 5,000 men.

What I missed and what you may have missed was that the people did not go there intending to teach or feed anyone. They went away to rest at the command of Jesus. They had been working and burying the man sent by God to prepare the way for Jesus. Times were tense and they were more than ready for an opportunity to recharge. What I missed all these years is that Mark 6 teaches us how to treat rest. It teaches us that it's important. It teaches us that it requires a desolate place. It teaches us that it gets interrupted. It teaches us that we need to know how to respond when interuptions come and it teaches us what can happen when we respond the way Jesus does.

They obeyed. They tried to reason their way out of one of the most famous miracles in the history of Jesus's time with them. They acquiesced and obeyed more. The crowd that had gathered was satisfied with the words of Christ and the food He gave them for their bodies. The disciples aren't done yet. We keep reading and we watch as another famous experience takes place. They get back in the boat while Jesus dismisses the crowd and stays behind to pray. The wind rises up against the men in the boat. Like so many of us, they are taking the scenic route to a lesson Jesus is trying to teach them.

It never tells us if they ever got the rest Jesus originally called them to seek. What it does do is show us what the disciples would have missed out on if they would have had their own way. If Jesus and His disciples would have sent that crowd away or hid from them or headed up onto the mountain, one of the most encouraging stories we share with one another never would have happened. The disciples would have got their rest, but those 5,000 men and whatever women and children were with them wouldn't have the testimony of the time they were taught and fed by the Messiah. The disciples would have rested and been recharged. They would have had time to pray. But, they would have missed out on an opportunity to be used by God. When Jesus calmed the wind and joined them in the boat, the chapter begins to come to its close. What follows is a sad declaration of the state of their hearts.

We can read Mark 6 and learn so many things. On my most recent read through, I've learned that:

Rest is vital. If the Son of God needed it, then we certainly need it. True rest requires peace and quiet. We have to silence the voices around us and in us and go away to a desolate place where we can be alone with God. We live in a culture that praises introversion. We are all about self-care and treating ourselves. While we can all use a lesson on what true rest is, we don't have to be taught to value rest or to seek it.

Rest is almost always interuppted. Jesus was interuppted time and time again. He couldn't ever truly get away. In Mark 6, the disciples are interuppted. We are interuppted. The phone rings, the children ask for something, the neighbor knocks on the door or calls over the back fence. Our own minds turn to other things and the rest we set out to get vanishes. Interuptions come and we've got to know how to respond. If it wasn't for Jesus, the disciples (and the 5,000 and those of us who have come after them) would have all missed out on something God was about to do.

I've got one more post to share with you in this series...Until then, would you tell me about a time your rest was interrupted as well as the good work that God allowed you to accomplish because of that interruption?

On Rest: Part One

January 11, 2017

For the last few months I've been spending time reading the Gospels. I'll give you a quick snapshot of how my time in the Word works. I choose a book to focus on and then I make why way through it reading anywhere from a few verses to a handful of chapters at a time. I begin each "session" by journaling, then I switch to reading, and then I alternate between reading, copying down key verses, making notes, and praying until I'm out of time. This usually goes on for about an hour or so.

About a week ago, I made it to Mark 6. Mark is the third gospel that I've read in the last few months, so the details of many of the stories are starting to become familiar. I've noticed that this has freed me up to focus less on the WHAT and more on the WHY of each one. When I came to Mark 6, I read about Jesus being rejected in His hometown, Jesus sending the disciples out with the clothes on their back and a staff to call anyone who was willing to listen into repentance, and then I read about the death of John the Baptist. I reached the end of verse 29 feeling the weight of the faith that these men must have had and the heaviness that must have settled onto their shoulders as they faced each of these events.

Then, in verse 31,  Jesus tells them it's time to follow His lead. He says to them, "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while." The verses that follow tell us that they got into a boat and headed to such a place. I was marveling at this Scripture and wondering how I had missed it during the countless times I've read this book. I've studied Jesus's habit of going away by Himself to pray over and over again. I've tried to figure out how how He knew it was time and just exactly what He did while He was away. I've tried to imitate Him and cling to the Father the way that He did...Here, in Mark 6, Jesus was teaching His disciples to do the thing that I'm convinced sustained Him during His time on earth. So, I'm reading along and thanking God for finally showing me this. I'm copying down the verses and settling in to read what comes next.

Maybe you already know what comes next or maybe you've disconnected these accounts the way that I have. I'm sorry to admit that it's highly likely that I skimmed over verses 30-33 during my previous encounters with this chapter.

Jesus recognized that the disciples needed rest. He tells them to go away to a desolate place to rest for a while. They obey. They get in a boat and head out. A lot has been going on. Some of the most trying days of their early ministry have happened. They are tired and hungry and they must be looking forward to this rest. Then, comes verse 34. They make it to shore and a crowd had figured out where they were going and was gathered together waiting for them. Jesus gets out of the boat and begins to teach them. Get this. Jesus tells the disciples to rest and they are interrupted. The crowd stays gathered. The teaching goes on and on. It grows late. The men who were tired and hungry are more tired and more hungry and the desolate place Jesus told them to find would be the very place they are in except that all these people won't go away. The disciples ask Jesus to send the crowd away to find food for themselves so that the disciples can get to this "rest" they came to this place to find.

What's about to happen is the account of the time five loaves of bread and two fish fed 5,000 men until they were satisfied. Get this. The story they taught you about in Sunday school every year happened because people who were seeking rest in a desolate place were interrupted. I'm still going over all of the implications of this story. The fact that Jesus knew exactly what they were going to find when they reached that desolate place is weighing on my mind. The emotions the disciples must have been feeling are the ones I find myself relating to. The point of the whole encounter is something I do not want to miss.

And since this post is long enough already, I'm going to leave you hanging. We'll pick up part two next week. Until then, I'd love to hear about what you're reading and what God has been teaching you through it! 

You Might Enjoy

January 11, 2017

Since the middle of February I have been consciously collecting a list of things that will help me (or have prepared me to) DO this thing called BASKING that I've set out to do in the year ahead. If I'm honest, the occasional blue skies and the sun poking out from behind the clouds are my steadiest reminder, but there are things along the way that have done a lot of work too.

Here are some resources that have prepared me for 2017:

A sermon: The Glory of God in the Good Resolves of His People by John Piper - I'm not sure how many times I've listened to this sermon, but I've had it on my iPod for two whole years now. It's a theme that's on my mind often. I wrote about it here and it influenced the word I chose to focus on last year.

A book: Grace For the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman - I've read Freeman's blog for YEARS. She writes the way I long to write, connecting her faith to the most ordinary of moments in her everyday life. I read this book a while ago, but it was in its pages that I finally GOT what it was for Jesus to be about His Father's business. This book made me DIG around in the Bible. It encouraged me to look to Christ's example as I sought to BE a Christian. This is NOT another women's book about "letting go and letting God". It will breathe TRUTH into your soul and it will  challenge you to stand firm.

Some prose that reads like a poem: Scrolling through instagram one day back in October, I came across these words by C.S. Lewis (it turns out they were taken from a section out of Mere Christianity). It goes like this:

NEARER

"If you want to get warm

             you must stand 

            near the fire: if

           you want to be 

               wet you must get 

           into the water.

             If you want joy, 

                    power, peace, eternal 

              life, you must get 

                  close to, or even into,

        the thing that 

 has them."

                         - C.S. Lewis

Here are some things that are keeping me focused in 2017:

A playlist: Bask 2017 - This won't be for everyone, but it's the kind of music that I can't help but be grateful to have in my life. These songs have been encouraging me and teaching me and challenging me for years. Hit shuffle and ENJOY!

A plan: Stay in the Gospels - In light of the task this word spurs me onto, I felt the best place to go was to the example of Jesus Christ, Himself. So, I've been spending time with Him in the Gospels. I started with John, then moved on to Mark, and I'm going to start Matthew today. I can't remember who said it, but a theologian of old encouraged every Christian to always have their thumb in the Gospels no matter what other Scripture they were focusing on. In different seasons, I've attempted to do that.

Resolves: Going for walks in silence. Keeping a list of prayer requests handy and going over it or checking back in with the people that have asked me to pray. Journaling out Scriptures and lessons and prayers and preaching the Word to myself. Staying in touch with friends and listening to the stories of grace that they have to share or the burdens of faith they are carrying.

Is there anything you would recommend to me? 

What are some things that have been pointing you to God lately? 

An Encouraging Resolve

Today I am going to join Renee for her link-up.  There is a new theme each month and this time around the theme is encouragement. Renee is the wife of a guy who sounds like one of the good ones, the mother of two little ones, and one of THE most encouraging people I've ever crossed paths with on the internet. She is really good at fostering community, connecting with people, and being 100% honest about how things are going.

February 23, 2013

Well, I sat down to write this earlier today and ended up typing up what turned into a 9 page document that was close to 2500 words long. I think it's really good, but it needs polishing and I'm not sure that a blog is the right place to share a piece like that. So, I'm trying again.

It's Friday night and I just got back from the grocery store. I live it up, you guys. I also went to the mall today. I was hunting for a navy cardigan or a reasonably priced dress. I came back empty handed. I spotted one navy cardigan, but it was more shrug than what I had in mind. I did try on a dress, but then I realized that it looked like a cheerleading outfit from the 70s or 80s. I put it back (I know you were wondering).

There were a number of older couples shopping together. The men wandered aimlessly while the women pulled different things off of the racks in order to inspect them. The music was not only annoying, it was actually raunchy. I may have reached the point I never thought I would ever reach...I felt like every single one of those men. The clothes were ugly, cheaply made, and over priced. The music was horrible. I walked from department store to department store and found that each one seemed to have the same wares to offer.

Tonight, at the grocery store, things were different. I noticed that most of the shoppers seemed to be men and many of them had their kids in tow. There were some people who came by themselves and every single one of them was walking with the kind of slow purpose that many of us make it to the end of the week with. I made my way to from the meat counter to the dairy section and then weaved through the aisles until I made it back to the produce. While I was shopping, my friend Abigail texted me a time or two and I smiled as I typed out my replies. As I headed to the check stands, I noticed that it was starting to get dark outside and for the first time all day I felt the need to hurry up.

How does any of this connect to the theme of encouragement that Renee selected for the link up? If I'm honest...I'm kind of wondering too. Today, I passed human being after human being. I tried on a dress that some of them made. I listened to song after song that entire groups of people worked to write and record and produce. I overheard tidbits of conversation. I waited in line. I exchanged smiles and silly jokes about Route 66 and the Autobahn. The same can be said for you. You rub shoulders with so many people each day. You may be lonely. You may be so busy that you fall into bed at night. You may be sick. You may be having the time of your life.

Wherever you are, whatever the days have been holding for you, there is a resolve that can inspire your entire outlook. It's from the first verse in Psalm 34 and it says, "I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." Just four verses later, it goes on to say, "Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."

Today, I worked on a piece of writing until I ran out of time. I learned that I'm not crazy about the mall these days. I went to the grocery store dragging my feet after seeing my brother and sister off to their play.

As I reflect on the day, I realize that what made today different was that I was blessing the LORD. His praise was in mouth. I can't say for sure whether or not I looked radiant, but I can promise you that it's my deepest hope that people see His glory reflected in my very presence. I have full confidence that my hope in Him is SURE.

That's pretty encouraging. I hope you think so too.

Called to Bask

January 11, 2017

I'm struggling with how to introduce this post. I want to write about what it is to live out my word for 2017 and to be honest about how it's going.

On a superficial level, it's going WELL. I'm thinking about God, delighting in the small things, feasting on His gifts, praying over people, and using music to preach to myself. As far as having a disciplined soul goes, it's going HORRIBLY.

The whole purpose of this word is taking time out to be with God. It's about following Jesus Christ's example of slipping away and withdrawing and getting alone with God to pray. It's about going to God for the strength and grace and sustenance that comes from Him alone. If Christ needed this and devoted Himself to this and depended on this, it is something I most certainly cannot live without.

I KNOW this, but somehow, the discipline is lacking and it shows. I had to tell my friend Abigail that I hadn't been in the Word. My bad attitude proves to my family that I'm not actively submitting my spirit to God. The anxiety creeping in proves that I'm not abiding in His Spirit.

You ready for a peek into my journal? (This is for you, Mom!)

via Dec. 29, 2016 //

As I go into 2017, I want to remember that I am waiting on God. I want to BASK in the light of God. I want to bathe in the Word. I want to be one who waits on Him constantly. I want the storm to rage on while I cling to Him. I want to seek His strength and find it and show that I have it. I want to trust His will and His timing for all my hopes.

Isaiah 8:20-22 says, "To the teaching and to the testimony! If they will not speak according to this word, it is because they have no dawn. They will pass through the land, greatly distressed and hungry. And when they are hungry, they will be enraged and will speak contemptuously against their king and their God, and turn their faces upward. And they will look to the earth, but behold, distress and darkness, the gloom of anguish. And they will be thrust into thick darkness."
My attitude lately has been of one who has no dawn. One who looks around beholding distress and darkness and is hungry and in anguish and even enraged. I've felt it. I've taken it out on my family. God's light has shined into my darkness and I want to remember it. His strength came along showing me where my strength is to be found, namely, in Him. He has shown me on whom I wait, namely, on Him. He has granted me light to bask in and is ever ready with strength to endure.

At every turn I'm reminded of God's grace and strength and peace. I'm reminded that He is ruler over all (Psalm 29). That everything is in His hands. And then, waiting becomes sweet. I'm not waiting on anyone but Him. I'll say that again: I am waiting on Him. His timing is perfect and His will is best. Even if the road is slow or lonely, by it I will know Him and become like Christ and it is on that road that I've been begging Him to keep me all these years...If you're looking for me, you'll find me there.

//

And yet, here I am. I've reached the middle of February being reminded of these things and being beckoned into His strength only to disregard the call to BASK. If I'm going to keep this resolve, it's going to take effort and it's high time I do whatever it takes to get back on track.

via Dec. 31, 2016 //

I will need to learn from men like Paul and Christ and Whitefield and Washington. To set time out to be alone with God reading and praying and seeking Him. My priorities need shifting. I know that. My "defaults" need resetting.

//

I'm sharing all of this as a kick in the pants to myself, but also as an encouragement to all of you! Our resolves drive us back to God. They keep us seeking Him and depending on Him and rejoicing in Him, and praising Him.

For me, this going to look like imitating Christ's practice of going away to be with God. I struggle with this because I don't like going away. The thing is, if I'm going to receive God's strength, I've got to go to Him. If I'm going to be one who represents Christ to those around me, I've got to go to the Father just like He did.

If I'm going to bask, I have to bask. 


Let's look to Christ. Let's reset our defaults. Let's put in the effort. Let's BASK. However dark the day, the sun is out!

One Word: 2017

September 10, 2010

I am a sun chaser. My favorite place is the beach and if I disappear on a sunny day, all you need to do is to hunt for the patch of sun that I'm basking in. Come February's warmest days, you'll find me camped out in some spot of sun with sweatshirt and blanket and book, pen, and paper. It'll be cold. People will think I'm crazy, but I cannot get enough.

By the time summer rolls around, you'll find me looking for any excuse to get outside. I have quiet times out there. I garden. I go for walks. I'll do my afternoon reading or writing on the patio. I am even known to take naps out in the yard. There are few things I enjoy more than turning my face to the sun and feeling its rays warm me right to my core.

That said, my word for 2017 managed to catch me by surprise. I had a few words rolling around in my mind and the one that I ended up with was not one of them. I've been reading Andrew Murray's book "Waiting on God" along with whatever chapter(s) of Scripture he references each day. On Day 16, Murray compared waiting on God with keeping watch for the first rays of the morning light. God is a God of LIGHT and His light is always shining. I know this to be true. As I read Murray's words they resonated with me because of my love for the sun.

Psalm 130:5-6 says, "I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, And in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning; I say, more than they that watch for the morning."

We all know what it is to watch for the morning light. It chases away darkness and doubt and fear and gloom and troubles and so many things. The morning light brings with it hope and peace and a brand new day. I'm not exactly sure what events surrounded the writing of Psalm 130, but I'm pretty confident that it was times of trouble. I've been talking with several different people about salvation lately. They've all wrestled with seasons of wondering if they were ACTUALLY saved. Two of them have made it through those times. They can't explain what happened, but they both said that God changed things. I would sum up their words by saying that the light of God shined in their souls.

Murray puts it this way, "Just as the sun shines its beautiful, life giving light on and into our earth, so God shines into our hearts the light of His glory, of His love, in Christ His son. Our heart is meant to have that light filling and gladening it all the day."

If you haven't guessed yet, my word for 2017 is BASK. By the last day of December, I had settled on it and I've already been seeing the theme pop up again and again. I need to wait on God and trust that He rules over all things. I need to believe Him and stay in His word. By His Spirit, my soul will be full of the joy and peace that come from His light. God is light. By His light do we see and live and walk.

I want 2017 to be a year of savoring these truths. I want to receive from Him and respond with praise. I want the times when darkness threaten to undo me to become times when I learn to look to Him knowing that His light IS there. I want to glow with the beauty of His presence and the proof that my hope is in Him alone. I want it to be said of me that I am nurtured by Him and the light He shines on His people. I will need to pray. I will need to reflect often on His goodness and His character.

I look forward to the cloudy days when His sun shines. I long for my soul to be nourished by His light just the way my body is nourished by the sun on my skin. As I could lay there in its warmth for hours at a time, so I long for 2017 to be the year where I am continually basking in God's warmth.

May I learn from the flowers and the trees and the grass and the animals and even my own soul. As Murray says on page 83, "They do nothing [to keep the sun shining on them], they simply bask in the sunshine when it comes."

And it always comes. As Alice likes to remind me, "The sun is always shining, even when we can't see it."

Have you picked a word for 2017?

It Was Snowing

Another post I drafted on December 9th. I've got a few coming your way! 

The other day I went to pick my Mom up from work. I went in to let her know that I had arrived only to learn that it was going to be a while before she could leave. In the few minutes that I was in the store, a little mini snow storm blew in. I stepped out onto the sidewalk and immediately took up my "it's snowing" stance. I looks like slower, surer steps, chin tilted down, hands crammed into pockets, and rounded shoulders. I think I may have even muttered something sarcastic to myself. I don't mind snow, but I do not want to get caught out in it. I started my trudge to the car when a sound of absolute glee caught my attention.

I looked toward where the sound was coming from to see a little girl and her Mom. The little girl was looking up into the sky beaming. She had her hands out and her glee had turned into sheer awe. I paused and my "it's snowing" stance melted away into a smile and a laugh. All of a sudden, my memories of those same feelings came flooding back. The Mom had stopped walking and was beaming right along with her daughter. Only, she wasn't delighting in the snow. She was delighting in her daughter. In that moment, there was no hurry. The little girl was completely taken with the flakes falling all around her. The Mom was happy to let her take her time. And I was content to watch.

The last thing I heard before I got into my car was the little girl say, "I love snow." To which the Mom replied, "Yes, you do love snow, don't you?"

The whole exchanged lasted less than a single minute before we all picked back up where we left off. They made their way into the store and I got into my car. Th snow kept coming down and I saw it for the beauty that it was. I sat there waiting for my own Mom thinking about the joy children bring. They remind us to see things the way they're meant to be seen. They remind us that there is no hurry and that life is better when we take our time.

It was snowing and they weren't in a hurry. After that, neither was I.

Advent 2016

December 10, 2016

I picked Andrew Murray's "Waiting on God" back up the other day. I made it less than halfway through last year's Advent readings and wouldn't you know it...When I finally got myself together this year, it was right where I left off last year. Man plans his way, but God established his steps. It gets even better. Not only did I pick up where I left off, but the first day's reading dealt with themes that I've been wrestling with lately (faith, being taught by God, and even the balance between sin and repentance).

When I read the verse that went with the day's essay, I knew that this was exactly how it was supposed to have happened. I rarely get discouraged about not being able to finish something becaues I am a firm beleiver in the fact that I will finish it when  the time is right. This goes for silly things and important things. I'm happy to take my time.

I've been going to a new Bible study and I've got mixed feelings about it. I'll be honest. I take theology very seriously. I have come to learn that this is rare. Studying the Bible with other believers has taught me that very few people are eager or have put the time into thinking for themselves. So, I go to this Bible study which seems to be non-denominational and I've heard some pretty typical comments. Everything from the KJV only debate, to thoughts on salvation, and of course, the man-centered theology that misses the actual meaning behind every Biblical text has come up so far. Bad theology, especially from people who should know better, gets me every single time.

The last meeting was about faith and especially the faith of Gideon. I'm not going to get into what was said, because that's not the point. The point is, I was wrestling with what was said and God saw fit to clarify the matter using His Word, Murray's old booklet, and an unrest in my spirit. He also threw in a line about how He teaches His people for good measure.

What have you been wrestling with lately? 

Are there in themes that God has brought to your attention?

On My Mind

December 9, 2016

I drafted this post back on December 9th. Everything I wrote is still true, so I'm leaving it here for you to read. Well, everything except, the snow has continued off and on since then and we're up to nearly a foot of snow. :) 

The first real snow is coming down outside. We're on a "winter storm watch" which basically means all of the kids are EXCITED. I dropped the van off to get the snow tires put on earlier this morning, so I'm okay with it. Settle in with a cup of something warm and let's chat...

I've been doing so little reading and writing lately that I almost don't feel like myself. What's something that's such a huge part of who you are that pushing it aside affects you? It's definitely reading and writing for me. I've even attempted to carve out time to go to the library so that I can sit down at a clean table and just WRITE by the big windows. That's another thing...I'm not one of those people who plunks down in a coffee shop or restaurant or library to do something like that, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Going non-stop has me celebrating any day without any place to be. Apparently I need to stop getting so excited. Each time I've had one, SOMETHING comes up.

We made it through tech-week!!!! My Mom and I are in charge of props for my brother and sister's current show. We've done a lot of tasks over the years. This is a first. I was super nervous about it, but I think I may have found my "thing". We'll see how it goes during an actual show. Last night, I actually dreamed about not being able to find something. I couldn't figure out what I couldn't find and I couldn't remember the person's name that needed it.

I've been rejoicing in the fact that God answers prayers. Dwelling on this truth has been so good for my soul!!!! I've got a list of things that I'm praying for. It reminds me to check back with people and to praise God for the ways He responds.

While I did pick up my Advent study (I'm finishing the one I started last year), I haven't put up the Christmas decorations, mailed my Christmas cards, or bought a single present. It's nearly the middle of December. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for!

What's on your mind? 

Picture Walk in October

Saturday, October 8th was a GOOD day. It started out rainy and slow. My Mom and I watched "Still Alice" before the house woke up. We paused it while I ran my brother to a rehearsal. By the time I got home, my sister was up and ready to join in on our movie marathon. She wasn't crazy about that movie. Her exact words were, "I think I needed to see the beginning."

After that we watched Lady Jane Grey. Since the same lady who plays Bellatrix was playing Jane, it took some getting used to, but it was pretty well done. I think they MAY have gotten a little tired of me saying where the movie was mixing things up or skipping over important events in Jane's life.

After that, we started watching The Tenet of Wildfell Hall. Just so you don't think we're bums...We had rented these movies from the library and they were allll due. That rainy morning combined with a looming due date were the perfect combination for a movie marathon. We watched SOME of Wildfell Hall and then the rain started to clear up. I was getting stir crazy. For once, my sister had ZERO plans, so I asked her to go for a walk. We bundled up and I stuck my camera into my pocket....

I'm committing a pet peeve (sorry, Amanda)...I can't choose which of these pictures I like best. We'll call them (from top to bottom) 1, 2, 3. Which is your favorite?

These pictures required a bit of strategy. Sometimes I like capturing strangers right along with the scenery, but on this day, I decided not to. It wasn't busy, but it wasn't as dead as these pictures might lead you to believe.

We saw a friendly old man with two dogs who were JUST as friendly as their master. We saw a couple of guys lounging and chatting on the sea wall. I saw one guy sitting on the wall intently looking out onto the lake. Truth be told, there was something "dark" about him, but I envied him. He came down there by himself and sat for however long he wanted to. I wish I was brave enough and bold enough to do that.

We saw a couple of families out trying to take pictures. We saw some boys on their longboards. And then there was the couple that was meandering along the trail right along with us. It's always awkward when you find yourself wandering along at the same pace as someone. Do you speed up? Do you wait for them to speed up? Do you continue your pace even though it means that you're less than 10 steps behind them? I never know what to do in those situations. We passed them and then slowed back down.

It was beautiful and peaceful and refreshing. A sleepy town after a rainy morning really can't be beat. Picture walks with this sweet sister of mine are always in order. We talked and laughed  and caught up on things that we hadn't talked to death yet.

I keep wondering how much more of THIS we're going to have. In this town. Together. During a season where neither one of us is married or has a DIFFERENT family to take care of. This, my friends, is why I'm in no hurry.

Oh...And since the 16th of September, we've been collecting license plates. Normally we just spot them and write them down. We're up to 24 different plates now! My sister recently traveled to Ohio for her friend's wedding, so this one required a quick picture. I'm not sure I've ever seen an Ohio plate around here.

Julie, here are the pictures!!!! It's Friday. But I finally shared them. :)

What's something about your current season that keeps you content with it? 

Do you play the license plate game just for fun?

Good Stuff

October 14, 2014

Pandora made my day with a notification they sent me this morning. You might get a kick out of it too. It said, "The weekend's finally here! Time to turn Sidney Bechet Radio up. Way up." I think I might just do that! What's one of your favorite stations on Pandora?

Today, I've got an all over the place post for you. It's a cross between a currently post, a what I'm into post, and list of things I'm thankful for, and one of my old "from four days" style posts. You've been warned.

We're heading into the weekend with a very real possibility of a major storm heading our way. So far, we've had a fair amount of rain (typical this time of year) and the wind kicked up last night. The wind is NOT our friend. Please be praying for the coastal areas as they are the ones who will likely end up with the most damage if things go as the weather people suspect them to.

That's that. I had my West Coast friends pray for my East Coast friends last week. This week, we're trading places. I am not afraid, but I do know that this is a great opportunity to seek God in prayer.

Aside from that, I'm going into the weekend with some great times behind me too.

Volleyball started back up this last week. I was super rusty (I had like three HORRIBLE bumps and a handful of TERRIBLE serves. I almost never miss a serve.), but I kept at it and by the end of the night I was ALMOST my old self again. I'm excited to play a lot more and hopefully a lot better in the months to come.

I can officially no longer say that I've never been to Panera. My sister and I went there for lunch last Thursday. I had super high expectations and while the food was good (I was silly and didn't get the mac and cheese), it was a little more than I want to spend on soups/salads/sandwiches. I'm convinced that we just didn't order "right", but the jury is still out for me. Any tips?

This week, my friend Abigail and I met up to go hiking. I am soooo excited to live in an area where I can hike again. We did two loops, saw lots of very friendly people, enjoyed a nice long chat, and stopped a time or two to take in the views. She'll be leaving for MA in a few weeks and I'm going to miss her while she's gone. She's the second person I've met from MA now on this other side of the country...Funny how that works.

My sister and I went for a walk recently which kind of turned into a bit of a picture walk. I've got some shots to share and I'm thinking Monday will be the day for that. Hold me to it!!!! We walked and walked with the goal of enjoying some fresh air and the fall foilage.

As I always do this time of year (since my MA days)....I realllllly realllly want to have a Guy Fawkes party. Apple cider, caramel apples, s'mores, and a fire. Wouldn't that be fun? I'd skip out on the effigies (that thoroughly creeped me out) and maybe watch Meet Me In St. Louis instead. I'm sure it won't happen, but it does sound fun. I mean...I wanted to try to have people over for cake some Sunday AFTER my birthday and that still hasn't happened, so let's just be real about this. ;)

Before I sign off for the day, I wanted to share a few links with you:

Today is Amy's birthday!!!! She wrote a post sharing some birthday wisdom. Check it out and wish her a happy birthday!

My friend Emily mentioned my post in her Weekend Reads roundup. I love roundups and being featured in one is always exciting!

Last night I made Ina's Skillet-Roasted Chicken Dinner. If you need a meal that's easy to make, great for company, and will make you feel fancy, this is what you're looking for.

Want to take a ramble around the yard with me? Here's a post from two years ago today.

Do you have any rambles to share with me? 

What's one recipe (an old favorite or a new find) that you've made and loved recently?

Have a great weekend!

The Home Fire

 
The Home Fire by Louis Armstrong 

Back in August, I was listening to my Early Jazz station on Pandora when this song came on. I don't know exactly what I was doing, but I have a feeling I was up to my neck in some kind of housework. The message really struck a chord with me.

Armstrong was singing away about how much the home fire means to him. Even the things that are less than desirable all worked together to be his little heaven on earth. He was so happy there that he invited others in to share it with him. In that moment I knew that the work of keeping the home fire burning is a good one.

I don't do it perfectly. I've been at it for so long that I do a lot of the work without even thinking about it. I need to get better at going with the flow. I need to be able to plan ahead in a way that leaves room for a handful of friends to stop by and join in on whatever it is we're eating or doing. My Mom was always so good at making room for my friends and I know that I've done a terrible job at welcoming people in. If I've had time to plan, I'm game, but it's the unplanned that keeps me grumbling growing.

Homemaking hasn't been very popular for a LONG time. People look down on it or feel like it's looked down on. I'm so pleased that it's making a come back. Women are getting excited about cooking and cleaning and gardening and spending the majority of their time tending to the ones they love. It is a full time job and one that's worthy of our praise and devotion.

God gave us these homes to be little churches in our neighborhoods. As we welcome people into our everyday lives, it's our opportunity to share our relationship with each other and with Him. The need to sleep and rest and eat and work are gifts from God to give us ways to connect to one another. 

I may not be a mother or a wife, but I've been given a home fire to tend to and it is one of my greatest joys. I know that my family appreciates it. I know I have so very much to learn. I'm thankful for the reminders - however unexpected they may be - that this life I've been given is a good one. It's easy to turn my eyes to other things. I can truly say that I'm proud of my work and content to continue in it as long as I can.

Whatever we do, people will always have something to say about it. We'll always think there's something "better" or "more important" that we could be doing. This weekend, take some time to think about the work God has given you. Thank Him for it. Ask Him to help you to be glad in it. And, whether you're the keeper of the home fire or not, celebrate the gift that it is!

As for me, I sit here having the furniture dusted, the kitchen tidied, a loaf of this bread baking away in the oven, and the rain coming down outside. I've got Louis providing the soundtrack. And now, I'm off to get some laundry going.

If you're ever in town, inquire. We'll be glad to have you share the home fire!

Just So You Know...

The days leading up to my birthday were full of "Oh, my! Your birthday is in ____ days." and "Um...Not to disappoint you, but we don't have anything for you." and "So, our auditions are on your birthday." With a September birthday, it's rare that we celebrate ON my birthday.

When I was growing up, my friends (my two closest friends happened to be a set of cousins) were always out of town on a yearly trip their whole family took. When I was a little older, my brother's football season took precedence. And then there were work schedules to work around. I've learned not to set my hopes too high or to expect too much. By September 12, summer has come to and end and people are trying really hard to settle into their fall routine.

My expectations are low, but birthdays are my favorite. I can't help but be excited and a little hopeful that SOMETHING great will come my way. Just about every year SOMEONE comes through with a surprise up their sleeve. This year, it happened to be my sister.

I woke up knowing that the day would be FULL and yet also realizing that the birthday activities would probably happen on a later date and that was okay by me. I was hoping for a dinner at home with my family in between all of the running around that the day held. Well...First thing that morning, (after my Mom and I got back from driving by a house we might have wanted to buy) my sister said, "If you're taking a shower, you need to go do that. You need to get ready! We have things to do!"

My sister (like the brother that falls in line between us) is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets. She wants to tell you what she is getting you or doing for you and she basically BEGS you to make her share her secret. I am the person that loves those kind of surprises so I plug my ears and say "lalalalaaaaa" and refuse to let them let the cat out of the bag.

I got ready to go and packed a jacket and some water and my camera and we were off for surprise number 1. Once we were on the road, she told me that there were three surprises and that she was going to need a bit of help navigating. She asked me questions about road names and I helped us get to destination number 1. All along the way I was secretly hoping that it was our favorite Chinese buffet, but it was a little early yet, so I wasn't sure if there was something else going on....We got closer and closer and SHE TURNED ON HER SIGNAL! Destination number 1 WAS our favorite Chinese buffet.

We got out and took pictures in the parking lot and then we went in and got seated and she was BEAMING. I mean, I was EXCITED, but she was REALLLLLY excited. When I first got my driver's license, I used to take my brother and sister to do fun things out of town. The thing that meant the most to my sister was going out for Chinese. The year that I taught them, I would take my brother and sister along for afternoon grocery runs and we would stop for a late lunch. It's been a little tradition of ours to make time for a sister lunch on HER birthday. This time SHE wanted to take ME out for MINE.

The food was excellent and we had a great table and we ate until we couldn't eat any more.

Next up was a stop that I couldn't figure out. We drove and drove and we went to a part of town that I knew had NOTHING birthdayish in it. I knew there was a Sonic and a Wendys and a WalMart, but that was all I could think of and neither of us were ready for any more food or drinks. I was genuinely confused. This made my sister even more excited than she already was!

Finally, we pulled up to this mini golf place and surprise number 2 was out of the bag. We got out only to learn that it wasn't open. Now, this surprise meant more to me than you have any way of knowing. In the PNW mini golf consists of wood boards with holes in them set up at the ends of green carpet. One of my favorite summer activities in SC was going to putt-putt golf courses complete with waterfalls and caves and bridges and basically a real golf course made just for families who don't have the time or the skills for real golf. My sister, a PNW girl, has never been to what I call "REAL putt-putt" and I've made a promise that we WILL do it together some day! So, she found the closest mini golf and made it her goal to take me. Again. I loved it!

Since surprise number 2 didn't take as long as my sister anticipated, she said we needed to do something to burn off some of our food. She let me choose, so I asked her if she wanted to walk a trail that reminded me of the one I walked by the canal in MA. She was up for it and I said that it would work as long as we could find a place to park.

We drove and drove and due to college having started back up and a MAJOR construction zone, we couldn't find a good (or legal) place to park. The good news was that our food was burned off AND we were right by destination number 3. The funny thing about that is that my sister wasn't EXACTLY sure how to get to that stop or how to ask me how to get there without totally giving it away. We pulled into the complex where it was to do some walking there instead and she said, "Oh good! It's here!" I said, "What's here?" She said, "Oh, nothing. Stop reading the signs."

It was too late...This is a complex I'm very familiar with and I thought for sure that our last stop was going to be for frozen yogurt. We wandered around for a bit and then headed down the street. Straight toward the frozen yogurt place. But, then, she said, "We're HERE!!!!" I looked up and realized that she was taking me to a bookstore/coffee shop. It's one I've been wanting to go to WITH her since we were here on vacation back in 2014.

Now it was my turn to TOTALLY BEAM. We wandered around looking at books and journals and just checking out the whole store. We weren't in there two minutes when MY SONG (Drops of Jupiter by Train) came on over the sound system. The minute the first chords played I got quiet and said, "This song WOULD play." Everything was PERFECT. We made our way around the store a little bit more before ordering a chai tea (my sister) and a hazelnut latte (me) that we took out to a bench in the sun.

We made it home in time to rest for a little bit before heading out to their auditions....As soon as their auditions were over, we booked it over to a Mexican restaurant (at my Mom's planning and insistence).

We ordered their cheese dip and heaping plates of food (I got a beef burrito with rice and beans which actually turned out to be a bean burrito thanks to our lovely server, but I didn't notice until the next day when I was heating up some leftovers) and just had an all around great time. I spotted my old science teacher and his wife and an older guy sitting on his balcony reading the evening away. All through dinner the phone rang and rang with people hoping to catch me for a quick birthday chat. By the third call, I was laughing when I answered the phone. We finished dinner JUST in time for my brother to make it to call backs.

Call backs lasted and lasted and lasted. I sat in the car reading and catching up on phone calls as the sun set. It was a great way to close out the first day of my 26th year and left me with plenty of time to reflect on how special this "Just so you know...." day turned out to be!

Thank you, dear sister!!!! Your joy in helping me ring in 26 meant a TON. You know that I go back and forth between loving our life in this town and wanting to run for the hills. This day reminded me that there is nowhere else I'd rather be. I love you and your love for me. Running around to each and every one of your surprise destinations was THE most fun I've had in a long time. I <3 i="" nbsp="" u="">

How do you celebrate birthdays?

Are you a surprise keeper or a "Oh, let me just tell you everything!" kind of person?