Just So You Know...

The days leading up to my birthday were full of "Oh, my! Your birthday is in ____ days." and "Um...Not to disappoint you, but we don't have anything for you." and "So, our auditions are on your birthday." With a September birthday, it's rare that we celebrate ON my birthday.

When I was growing up, my friends (my two closest friends happened to be a set of cousins) were always out of town on a yearly trip their whole family took. When I was a little older, my brother's football season took precedence. And then there were work schedules to work around. I've learned not to set my hopes too high or to expect too much. By September 12, summer has come to and end and people are trying really hard to settle into their fall routine.

My expectations are low, but birthdays are my favorite. I can't help but be excited and a little hopeful that SOMETHING great will come my way. Just about every year SOMEONE comes through with a surprise up their sleeve. This year, it happened to be my sister.

I woke up knowing that the day would be FULL and yet also realizing that the birthday activities would probably happen on a later date and that was okay by me. I was hoping for a dinner at home with my family in between all of the running around that the day held. Well...First thing that morning, (after my Mom and I got back from driving by a house we might have wanted to buy) my sister said, "If you're taking a shower, you need to go do that. You need to get ready! We have things to do!"

My sister (like the brother that falls in line between us) is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets. She wants to tell you what she is getting you or doing for you and she basically BEGS you to make her share her secret. I am the person that loves those kind of surprises so I plug my ears and say "lalalalaaaaa" and refuse to let them let the cat out of the bag.

I got ready to go and packed a jacket and some water and my camera and we were off for surprise number 1. Once we were on the road, she told me that there were three surprises and that she was going to need a bit of help navigating. She asked me questions about road names and I helped us get to destination number 1. All along the way I was secretly hoping that it was our favorite Chinese buffet, but it was a little early yet, so I wasn't sure if there was something else going on....We got closer and closer and SHE TURNED ON HER SIGNAL! Destination number 1 WAS our favorite Chinese buffet.

We got out and took pictures in the parking lot and then we went in and got seated and she was BEAMING. I mean, I was EXCITED, but she was REALLLLLY excited. When I first got my driver's license, I used to take my brother and sister to do fun things out of town. The thing that meant the most to my sister was going out for Chinese. The year that I taught them, I would take my brother and sister along for afternoon grocery runs and we would stop for a late lunch. It's been a little tradition of ours to make time for a sister lunch on HER birthday. This time SHE wanted to take ME out for MINE.

The food was excellent and we had a great table and we ate until we couldn't eat any more.

Next up was a stop that I couldn't figure out. We drove and drove and we went to a part of town that I knew had NOTHING birthdayish in it. I knew there was a Sonic and a Wendys and a WalMart, but that was all I could think of and neither of us were ready for any more food or drinks. I was genuinely confused. This made my sister even more excited than she already was!

Finally, we pulled up to this mini golf place and surprise number 2 was out of the bag. We got out only to learn that it wasn't open. Now, this surprise meant more to me than you have any way of knowing. In the PNW mini golf consists of wood boards with holes in them set up at the ends of green carpet. One of my favorite summer activities in SC was going to putt-putt golf courses complete with waterfalls and caves and bridges and basically a real golf course made just for families who don't have the time or the skills for real golf. My sister, a PNW girl, has never been to what I call "REAL putt-putt" and I've made a promise that we WILL do it together some day! So, she found the closest mini golf and made it her goal to take me. Again. I loved it!

Since surprise number 2 didn't take as long as my sister anticipated, she said we needed to do something to burn off some of our food. She let me choose, so I asked her if she wanted to walk a trail that reminded me of the one I walked by the canal in MA. She was up for it and I said that it would work as long as we could find a place to park.

We drove and drove and due to college having started back up and a MAJOR construction zone, we couldn't find a good (or legal) place to park. The good news was that our food was burned off AND we were right by destination number 3. The funny thing about that is that my sister wasn't EXACTLY sure how to get to that stop or how to ask me how to get there without totally giving it away. We pulled into the complex where it was to do some walking there instead and she said, "Oh good! It's here!" I said, "What's here?" She said, "Oh, nothing. Stop reading the signs."

It was too late...This is a complex I'm very familiar with and I thought for sure that our last stop was going to be for frozen yogurt. We wandered around for a bit and then headed down the street. Straight toward the frozen yogurt place. But, then, she said, "We're HERE!!!!" I looked up and realized that she was taking me to a bookstore/coffee shop. It's one I've been wanting to go to WITH her since we were here on vacation back in 2014.

Now it was my turn to TOTALLY BEAM. We wandered around looking at books and journals and just checking out the whole store. We weren't in there two minutes when MY SONG (Drops of Jupiter by Train) came on over the sound system. The minute the first chords played I got quiet and said, "This song WOULD play." Everything was PERFECT. We made our way around the store a little bit more before ordering a chai tea (my sister) and a hazelnut latte (me) that we took out to a bench in the sun.

We made it home in time to rest for a little bit before heading out to their auditions....As soon as their auditions were over, we booked it over to a Mexican restaurant (at my Mom's planning and insistence).

We ordered their cheese dip and heaping plates of food (I got a beef burrito with rice and beans which actually turned out to be a bean burrito thanks to our lovely server, but I didn't notice until the next day when I was heating up some leftovers) and just had an all around great time. I spotted my old science teacher and his wife and an older guy sitting on his balcony reading the evening away. All through dinner the phone rang and rang with people hoping to catch me for a quick birthday chat. By the third call, I was laughing when I answered the phone. We finished dinner JUST in time for my brother to make it to call backs.

Call backs lasted and lasted and lasted. I sat in the car reading and catching up on phone calls as the sun set. It was a great way to close out the first day of my 26th year and left me with plenty of time to reflect on how special this "Just so you know...." day turned out to be!

Thank you, dear sister!!!! Your joy in helping me ring in 26 meant a TON. You know that I go back and forth between loving our life in this town and wanting to run for the hills. This day reminded me that there is nowhere else I'd rather be. I love you and your love for me. Running around to each and every one of your surprise destinations was THE most fun I've had in a long time. I <3 i="" nbsp="" u="">

How do you celebrate birthdays?

Are you a surprise keeper or a "Oh, let me just tell you everything!" kind of person?

They Gave You Warnings

My sister will graduate from highschool on Saturday and she just celebrated her 18th birthday earlier this month. On the day after her birthday, I grabbed my notebook and wrote these words...

My sister turned 18 yesterday. As I laid in bed last night, I thought back over the day. It wasn't long before my thoughts turned to the years and the days that made them up. 18 seems like a HUGE change. In our society, 18 means that you're "grown". People begin treating you differently, the questions about what you want to do with your life turn into questions about what you ARE doing with your life, and all of a sudden, in one day, things change. I'm 8 years older than my sister and have spent quite a bit of time over the last 18 years serving as an extra set of eyes and hands to help raise her. I'm not her mother, but I'm convinced that my thoughts and feelings about her turning 18 are similar to what they would be if I was.

All of a sudden, I realize that we are here. We have reached the point where she is viewed as an adult. She will begin asking for and taking on more and more responsibility for herself and her actions. Just like that, the letting go and stepping back reaches a new high and like every other person who has faced it before me, I'm stunned to know that it's here. Every single day one more child crosses that so-called threshold into adulthood. And each time, a parent, grandparent, and those that have invested themselves in their life, find themselves wondering where the time went. It always comes as a shock, but the truth is, they gave you warnings.

It starts when they reach for the toy or the food. They've been watching you and they are ready to try it out for themselves. Pretty soon, they start to piece together sounds and that's when they pipe up with something like, "My turn." or "I do it." And just like that, the helpless baby has turned into a toddler willing and yearning to do things.

Before you know it, they are running around, attempting to pick out their own outfits and coming up with jokes to keep people laughing. They may be little, but they are giving you warnings that this won't last forever. You step back. You hand over the spoon and the toy. You organize their drawers with the outfits together hoping that they'll take the cue. You laugh at the jokes and every now and then you realize that they are growing up right before your eyes.

A few more years go by and they pick out their own books at the library. They pick a reading spot and it's not your lap anymore. They set up their own forts and plan their own fun. But even then, they're not ready to give up your lap or your games or your help for good. They are giving you warnings, but deep down, you both know that they still need you.

The next summer, they go down the slide without you at the pool. Pretty soon, they're ready to go into the deep end without you treading water nearby just in case. Before the summer is over, they are so busy going from pool to pool that you can't keep up. You wear your suit, but you pack a book and scope out a spot in the shade with the other moms. The warnings continue, and you take note. They don't need you, but you tag along because the things is, this is a ritual that you have come to really enjoy. Yes, it's hot. Yes, they spend half the time warming up on the sidewalk or hanging onto the edge in the deep end. Yes, you'd rather be that young mom pulling her toddler around in the small pool. But, you enjoyed those days while they lasted and now you're enjoying the ones that are here. They'll be over soon too, so you sit and watch and sweat and probably haven't even read more than a page or two because you spent the whole time watching them having their fun at the pool.

All of a sudden, they are teens. They have questions, they want to try EVERYTHING, and they are dealing with A LOT. You begin to discover the things you have in common and your differences become crystal clear. During these years, they are doing their best to find THEIR place in the world. They still need you so much and you both know it. You spend your time listening and walking the tight rope of stepping in to help and stepping back to let them try. They get into binds and you do your best to help them out. Though these years are said to be dreaded, you realize that they are actually a ton a fun. They bring their heartbreaks, their insecurities, their dreams, and their share of joys to you to share them with you. Then, they climb into the driver's seat. They get the job. They take part in the play. They invite friends over and head out for a long hike with a video camera and a trunk full of props. You're welcome, but there isn't room for you anymore. At least, not like there used to be. You stay involved, but now you are transitioning to your role as enthusiastic cheerleader. 

And then it happens. They reach that magic night where they will wake up to be an "adult". The world tells you that your job is done and it hits you. It came so quickly. They gave you warnings and yet none of them prepared you for this moment.

My sister is 18. I heard the warnings. I listened and watched and did the best that I could at being what she needed me to be. Like all the milestones before it, this one is bittersweet. We made it. We'll continue to make it. She'll always be my sister and I'll never feel like my job is "done". With every stage, the warnings will be there and I'll take the cues. And she'll know that these eyes and hands belong to a heart and soul that love her so much more than they can ever express. Things change, but what was true for that helpless baby is still true. I'm here. I'll lead her and follow her and enjoy life alongside of her. She gave us warnings and she grew up and it still managed to catch me by surprise. I may not feel prepared for this moment, but we're both ready. We'll celebrate all that lies ahead just the way we celebrated all that is behind us. We'll make it.

Because It's My Sister's Birthday

I'm all kinds of sentimental today! My sister is officially 17!!!! We kicked off the celebrations with dinner at our favorite pizza place and we're having a big party at the house tonight. Birthdays are a pretty big deal in our house. We always get so excited to make the day as special as we possibly can.

17 years ago, I went to the hospital to meet my sister for the first time. Everyone was so happy that day. I saw her through a window, but eventually, I got to hold her all by myself. The quietness that comes over you when you hold a baby is what I remember most. We stayed at a motel with my Grandma, but none of us could stay away from the hospital (even if it meant going the wrong way on every possible one way street and stopping to ask a bum for directions...My Grandma was something else!).

It wasn't long and we were all home together figuring out how this new little life was going to become part of our family. Before long, she was scooting herself around and putting everything in her mouth. I remember rushing around ahead of her (or behind her) to remove something that she didn't need to get into.

Before we knew it, she was talking and walking and running outside to go to the bathroom. Yes, she was house broken before she was potty trained. My Grandma (the same one who had trouble getting to the hospital) was really proud of that accomplishment (NOT!).

The years of playing hospital and blowing bubbles and going for ice cream and spending afternoons at the park went by in a blur. In those days, she had all the time in the world. She was learning so much and turning into the person that God intended her to be. She prayed for everyone and everything. She loved every animal and made "friends" (even if she never learned their names) everywhere we went.

A few years ago, I realized things were beginning to change between us. I was still "Sissy", but she was ready to call me "friend" too. Sometimes I still miss hearing the way she would excitedly shriek "SISSY!!!!!!" when I'd call from my SC during the summers (or when I'd come home from a day at school), but having our sisterhood turn into something else really can't be beat!

She's busier than ever with jobs and babysitting and piano lessons and plays and fixing up her truck and high school and all the things that demand our attention as we get ready to become adults. With each passing day, I'm amazed at how quickly the years have flown by.

Today, she's 17 and we're together. I'm making a cake and cutting some flowers. We're celebrating the best way we know how because, it's my sister's birthday!!!!