January's End

 

 

How is today the LAST day of January? 

Frankly, looking back on this month has me feeling productive and blessed and sad to see it go. 

 

Over the course of January all of these things were accomplished:

 

* I chose GATHER as my word for 2014.

 

* I began a "read through the Bible as fast you can" plan.

 

* I learned to make YUMMY Mexican Rice. (I'm planning to share that with you soon.) 

 

* I packed up the contents of my bedroom to make room for the construction going on in there.

 

* The reality of CHANGE in my bedroom forced me to get a better idea of my plans for the space.

 

* A snow day happened - I bundled up and took some pictures (I wimped out the other times).

 

* Progress was made on a speech class I'm taking. Project 2,  a speech on George Washington is COMPLETE. 

 

* As of Tuesday, I'll be DONE with that math class I've been working on! 

 

 

Highlights from January:

 

* Spending the first day of 2014 at Jay's house.

 

* Celebrating Epiphany complete with a middle eastern feast.

 

* Going through Downton Abbey from the beginning.

 

* Skyping with friends. 

 

* Having so many visitors and reasons to celebrate! My favorite visit was the week I got to spend with Heidi's daughter! 

* Trying out Ree's recipe for Oatmeal Bars that I found in the back of a book...

* Learning that Ree writes children's books! My favorite so far is "Charlie Goes to School". 

 

* Spending several days with Alice, just because. 

January is over. I now have a HUGE window in my bedroom (the work isn't quite finished yet). I'm WAY closer to being able to say I'm DONE with college. Oh, and winter? It's one month closer to being OVER. 

 

What was accomplished in your life in January?

 

 What were some of your highlights?

 

 

I know February will fly by even faster, it always does...Are you ready?

 

 

 

 

 

The Revolving Door

 I have about a million things to write about and what do I do? Not write...

I think it's time for a recap! So far 2014 has been a FLURRY of activity.

Frankly...I just need to do a recap of the last few weeks. 

*Two weeks ago, my friend Heidi and her family came down for the day on Saturday.

Her daughter stayed for a week and I had FUN. Trips to the library, lunch of fun plates, snacks in between meals, walks, playing with things like blocks and marbles and crayons, playing in the bath - life is exciting when you're four!

*We've celebrated three BIRTHDAYS this month.

I made chicken divan with bread sticks and salad with Angel Food Cake for Jay.

Then there was pizza and Caesar salad with Drumstick Cream Cheese Brownie thing for my brother's 14th.

Last night, I fixed steak, baked potatoes, and salad with chocolate, chocolate cupcakes for Ron.


*My Grandparents came for a visit last weekend.


*Monday brought a huge dose of CRAZY. The basement windows are being dug out which means there is one guy coming in and out of our house all day. I get it, it'd be awkward if he knocked every single time he came in, but still...It's kind of strange for a 6ft something construction worker to be coming in and out unannounced.

Yesterday morning, he came in at 7:30am...Mind you, I am sleeping in the living room because my room is TORN APART. So, there I am laying in the floor. The back door opens and I hear a booming, "How art thou?" You get the idea.

After a whirlwind of packing and furniture moving, there is now constant in and out, banging, sawing, and a radio that can be heard throughout the house. I kind of like the chaos. Plus, I am SUPER EXCITED about all of the light that will be coming in the windows and the fresh air that I will now have access to!

*It's been WARM and COLD.

*I've been finishing up my math class, switching out Christmas decorations for a few more snowman items, cooking and cleaning for all the parties and guests, reading through the Bible (I'm in 1 Samuel now), and watching Downton Abbey.

Now I really want to hear from YOU...

How has your 2014 been going? 

Any CRAZY stuff happening in your house? 

What are your evenings filled with? 

My friend Amy hosts these posts!

Even when...

You don't know how happy I am to be linking up with Amy for Frankly Friday.  This idea that she came up with was GENIUS. Writing these posts about whatever I want with that banner flying over them letting you know that you're going to hear something frank, is perfect.

Last night I was kicking around ideas. I saw a beautiful picture of the sun and I remembered something my friend Alice told me once.

It has been GRAY here this week. Yesterday I had some driving to do, it was the middle of the day and the fog was so thick that I had could barely see ten feet in front of the car...The house has been dark and I wondered when the sun was going to come back. 

Seeing that picture of the sun shining somewhere else reminded me that the sun HAS been shining, I just couldn't see it. 

And that's where Alice comes in. A few years ago I was at her house and we were talking about something. All of a sudden, she corrected me. She said, "Remember, the sun is always shining, even when you can't see it!" 

I stopped. And I realized that Alice was right. Even on the darkest of days, when the fog is so thick you can't see more than a few feet ahead, the sun is shining. 

God created the universe and we can be sure that the sun will rise and the moon will set and the tides of ocean will come in and go out. 

For some reason, it's very important to Alice that she remember that. She rests in knowing that what God wills will stand. She rests in knowing that the rising and setting sun are reminders that God's word is sure. She knows to trust Him.

Let the sun and the fog be a reminder today. They are His. In His hand you are secure. 

You can be sure of them, just as you can be sure of Him.

 By the way, I can see the sun again today. Somehow, the certainty faith delivers is more precious than the certainty sight insures. 

Real Life

Whenever something strange happens or I see something that is ridiculous I have a few things that I tend to blurt out. My friends and family find it hilarious to imitate these sayings of mine because they KNOW what's coming. 

One thing I tend to think and say in those situations is "this is real life". When I say this, it is part question and part conclusion.

The world is a CRAZY place to live...And yet, however strange, ridiculous, and crazy things are, every one of them is REAL.

This is real life...

We deal with other people. They hurt us, we hurt them. They take advantage of us, we take advantage of them. They love us, we love them. 

 

You get the picture...The point is, we need other people and other people need us. 

 

There are people in our life that come and go. Some we get to know and care about, others are just part of the crowd that surrounds us. 

 

All of these people have their own STORIES. The struggles, the hopes, the dreams, the disappointment, and the passions that make them who they are. 

 

In my real life - I have two dads [clarification: one bio and one step married to my mom], one mom, two brothers, and a sister. I've had seven grandparents and three great grandparents. I have over 20 cousins and nearly just as many aunts and uncles. I have friends who I care so much about, they might as well be family. And I've had friends that I thought would be around FOREVER who are completely out of my life now. 

Each of these people have their own "entourage". That's A LOT of people....And it's people that make this world a crazy place to live. I contribute. People look at me and think, "Woah! This is real life?!?!"

How about if we cut down on the crazy?

 

 Be who you are, but THINK about the people around you. 

 

Did you commit to do something? Do it. Is someone you know having a hard time? Listen. Have you been using someone? Apologize and stop that. Do you know someone who is excited about something? Celebrate that with them! 

Slow down and step back. The fact is, this life is real and crazy - but it's also SHORT. What really matters is what's coming NEXT and THAT will be here before we know it. 

I'm so ready! God has us here, so while we're waiting let's work together to be people that MAKE LIFE REAL by sharing the truth and joy of what is coming.

 

 

 

Frankly Friday: Don't Give Up

You know the feeling when you've basically been doing SOMETHING all day...Really, it was more like one thing after another with a break thrown in here and there? That's a good feeling! But then, there's that feeling followed by looking around and realizing that you've still got a MAJOR MESS on your hands. 
I really don't like that feeling. 
I'll be HONEST. I had that feeling yesterday. When the day was over I just felt like I was covered in FILTH from head to toe, but I didn't even feel like taking a shower. I couldn't really relax because everything was a mess. Stuff...Stuff...Stuff!!!
Eventually, I ate some food, I took a shower, and I ignored the stuff and did some relaxing. Some friends came over for banana splits and then I ended up falling asleep watching "Always a Bride".
As Christians, we can get this way. We TRY so hard. We WANT to be fixed on God. We LOOK for the areas that we're coming up short. And then, we find ourselves TIRED. Certain we're a HOPELESS mess. 
We're a mess alright, but never HOPELESS. 
Over the last few weeks, one verse keeps coming up. I really need to sit down and read the CONTEXT, but for now, I'll share it with you. I printed it off along with some other words so that I could look at it. The verse goes like this: "...If you're not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all." Isaiah 7:9. 
That simple sentence says so MUCH! Words I need to hear. I can't remember if I shared my thoughts here, but I journaled up a storm...God is faithful and His call on my life can pretty much be summed up in the fact that He calls me to be FAITHFUL. 
Here me - we definitely need to be CONCERNED and working out our salvation. And yet, we also need to TRUST in the God who is behind it all. 
I don't have the balance figured out. I can't even leave you with some nice, neat sentence that sums it all up. Frankly, the mess surrounds me, I am my own mess, and I know that God is at work. 
There's just one thing left for me to do: DRINK. I need God's Word, God's people, and my weakest area: to PRAY. 
Don't give up! 

Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

Your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;

Your judgments are like the great deep;

man and beast You save, O Lord.

How precious is Your steadfast love, O God!

The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

     They feast on the abundance of Your house,

and You give them drink from the river of Your delights.

For with You is the fountain of life;

in Your light do we see light.

              Psalm 36:5-9

Promises

If there is ONE thing in my soul that needs to be worked on each day, it is this:
hope in God...
Hoping in God sustains us.
Hoping in God gives us joy and peace and contentment.
Hoping in God is our security.
Hoping in God gives us purpose. 
Hoping in God is ours in Jesus. 
Yet...I can at least speak for myself here...So often we worry (with or without God), question, fret, and a whole slew of other things that leave us as ships ready to be tossed by whatever wave happens to come our way next. 
I went to write out a verse in Lamentations about the mercies of God being new every morning. As I copied it down, I decided to read the verses around it. And that's when my mind turned right back to that familiar place: 
hope in God...

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

“therefore I will hope in Him.”

Lamentations 3:22-24

 The steadfast love is with us, His mercy is always new, He is faithful, He is our portion...We have so many reasons to hope and when we have come to the end, to hope some more. 
Hope in God...You won't be disappointed! 

They Matter More Than We Think

Frankly, life does not have to be exciting to be good. You don't have to take trips...Or know many people...You don't have to have a nice car...And you don't have to be important...Life can still be good.
I have spent most of my life living in small towns. Even when I've lived in the city, I've seen that neighborhoods become their own small town, their own safe haven. 
These places are full of people who are all "busy" and yet if they died, life would go on just fine without most of them. They spend their days going to work, cleaning the house, fixing food, taking care of the lawn, checking the mail, getting gas for their car, watching TV, and occasionally they get together with family for a party, a cookout, or a milestone. 
Life in these safe havens have things to teach us...
Time goes on and things don't matter, people do. Yet, it's always the things that bring us together.  We see the same people at the post office, our kids play on the same sports teams, and maybe our Grandma's go to the same beauty shop. As we do the menial things, we get to know each other and we start to CARE for each other. 
 When you know the people around you, you know that we're all in it together. And together, we can see that a quiet life really can be quite good. 
This weekend, especially if you're just taking it slow, take some time to think. We're not going to be around forever. MOST of the things we do don't even matter. Think about the people around you and take some time to pour into them the joy and the life that you have in Christ. 
In Christ, the "pointless" minutes and hours and days have purpose. He gives them to us and He means for us to use them well. 

The Great Aim

Hey, ladies! 
I have a few words for you today....No pictures, just words. 
During Holy Week (the week leading up to Easter), I was reading John Piper's "Love to the Uttermost". Check it out HERE
I think it was Friday's reading that inspired my thoughts today. 
Piper said this, "The great aim of this writer [of Hebrews] is that we get near God, that we have fellowship with Him, that we not settle for a Christian life at a distance from God, that God not be a distant thought, but a near and present reality, that we experience what the old Puritans called communion with God." 
Let's dig a little...The writer of Hebrews had a message from God. His desire for His readers is the same desire that God has for His people. That desire is simply this: DRAW NEAR TO GOD - ALWAYS. 
Whether you are a total loner or a people person, there is one presence that will satisfy, namely, the presence of God. 
The presence of God is a place Jesus couldn't get enough of. He wants His people to be enjoy that same closeness that He knew. 
Hebrews 7:25 says, "Consequently, He [Jesus] is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him since He always lives to make intercession for them." 
He's saving to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him. Having been saved to the uttermost, don't you think we'd be RUNNING to God continually? He's there, making intercession for His people, even now. 
On this Friday, I want you to do one thing - on good days, on bad days, and everyday- draw near to God. 
Be encouraged to know that Jesus saves His people to the uttermost and lives to make intercession for them. There are so many connections here...Being saved, drawing near, and being interceded for...
The life of the Christian is a beautiful thing! Happy weekend to you all. 

Anchored Soul

I just finished filling up a journal. (I'll talk more about what goes into a journal of mine another time.) I've been working on this journal for just under 2 years...That means I was 20 when I started this one and I'm finishing it now at 22. 

The journal...

This journal covers a very distinct season of my life. It has been full of other "mini" seasons, but those two years had a theme...LETTING GO. 
And as I was finishing up this journal, I realized something...These last two years have been about letting go AGAIN. I've let go before. 
I play it tough, but letting go is by far one of the hardest things I ever have to do. I totally drag my feet when it comes to letting go. 

August 2010, celebrating "20" before I moved to do student teaching.

  The days around the time I turned 20 were so difficult. I look back and am absolutely THRILLED that they are over. Things were ripped out of my hand and I held on soooo tightly that I made letting go way harder on myself. Yet, I think I NEEDED that. I needed to let go and I needed letting go to be difficult. 
Why? 
Letting go (the hard way) made me more like Jesus. I see that now...This week, this holy week, with Easter just a few days away...I see how the last two years have made me more like Jesus. And all of a sudden, the last season of letting go is totally worth it.
  All the tears, the sense of being lost, the pleading, the clinging, the sleeping, the wondering if things would ever work out....And then the hoping, the drinking up wisdom, the moments of joy when I saw God or helped others see Him....They have blurred into one big, "hard, but good" time. 

September 2011, Celebrating "21".

I don't want to write too much, but I don't want to be vague either. 
I want you to see and be encouraged and I want to remember. 
The last two years I was letting go of so many things. It can be summed up in this: I was letting go of what I thought life was (is) supposed to be. I was letting go of things that had given me a sense of direction and purpose and getting to understand and treasure things that OUGHT to give me a sense of direction and purpose. 

I need to rewind. 

Me at 13 (stole this from somebody's FB album)

At 13, I was looking into colleges. I was planning my life and putting my previous years of hard work in school to work. I was finishing up jr high and was planning my road through high school so  that I wouldn't waste ANY time. I wanted my life to count. I wanted to make I difference. I wanted to accomplish big things. I, I, I. 
Slowly but surely, I let all of that go. I came to be enamored with what it meant to be a godly woman. I went from saying, "I want to be a teacher who makes a difference in the lives of kids and maybe even get into some kind of social work to help counsel them along the way too!" to saying, "I see that my role as a woman is to be a helper to men. I don't know what that means exactly, but I just want to do whatever God wants me to do." 
I saw the beauty of being a godly woman...I saw the beauty of marriage and family. I let go of me and began to see my role in the body of Christ. 

July 2006, during a mandatory "time of silence". 

At 15, I had  a firm foundation in Christ. Now I had a better idea of what it was to be a Christian woman...But, I had more to learn. I went to a leadership conference/ spiritual BOOT CAMP and came away with so many of my questions answered. For the first time in my life I heard and saw that I was created to live for the glory of God. I had spent the last two years listening to every radio preacher I could tune into, reading as much Bible as I could, and really trying to understand WHY I was alive. 
On my application to the conference, I remember summing up my reason for attending the conference as this, "After I got saved, I began to think, 'I'm saved, now what?'. They told me to read my Bible, pray, and go to church....So, I read my Bible, prayed, and I go to church...Still, I'm asking, 'What's the now what, after the now what?'..." 

July 2007, same conference, second year...FYI we were dressed up for a hoe down. 

I left that conference with a CLEAR vision of exactly what the now what, after the now what was!!!! I know it's basic and I know that I was on a journey towards seeing it. I am so grateful for the men at that conference and the time that God gave me to SEE why He made me! I left that conference with this quote by John Piper, "God is most glorified in you, when you are most satisfied in Him.". I left that conference knowing that my purpose was to make much of God...All the time, in all things.
  I left that conference feeling FREE to be the godly woman who served those around her and was pouring her life out to know God and make God known. 

May 2008

At 17, I had come a long way. I had shed many tears. I had had soooo many doubts and struggles. I had said goodbye to old friends, old habits, old movies, old music...Old things that drug me down. I had grown closer to my Mom and made a few new friends, I had formed new habits, found completely different movies and music to enjoy...I was FREE to know God and to make God known. I was pouring my life out to do just that. Then, something new came my way. The opportunity to plan and prepare for my life as "wife and mother". I was accepted at Whitefield College and the journey began. 

My brother's birthday...The desk in the background was my study zone. 

Again, I had let some things go, made some tough decisions, and had serious direction. This was like that leadership conference all over again...Day after day, month after month of AWESOME lectures, books, and a chance to write EVERY SINGLE DAY. I loved it!

January 2009. None of us knew that 8 months later, my brother's first truck would be loaded with everything he owned as he moved out. 

Then...Came 2009 and 2010. Things went a little downhill, but I was okay. My brother ended up moving out. 
2010 began as a year of "dreams come true". I went to EVERY SINGLE place I had EVER dreamed of going. I got to spend time with some awesome people, go to another conference, and see my brother. 

NEXT2010 in Baltimore, MD, May 2010.

George Washington's Mount Vernon, May 2010

Coast Guard Beach on Cape Cod, September 2010. 

NYC, December 2010

I dealt with some hard stuff by seeing some family members and going to places full of memories that I hadn't seen or been to in a long time. I spent the month of July WRESTLING with God about what I would be doing that fall and dealing with the consequences of my own apathy. 
I moved to New England to complete my student teaching. I went to a great church, taught at a wonderful school, and for the first time in my life was SURROUNDED by a group of godly young women (and their families and friends). I loved it... I knew that I told God when it was over, I would head home. That time came. 

March 2011

Then, came 2011. What I thought was a year of HELL. I battled depression. I was SICK. And people around me were always asking me what was wrong with me. I was up and down and all over the place...Always crying and seriously just ready for this thing called life to be over. I'd get to the BOTTOM and just be CLINGING to God, crying out to Him. I read Martyn Lloyd-Jone's, "Spiritual Depression" and stayed in Psalms and Proverbs. That's seriously, probably some of the only Bible I read for most of that year. I was questioning God in what He was doing and what I was supposed to do. 
July of 2011 was amazing...I ended up at the Ranch for about a month. My mind was completely off of all the stuff in my "real" life and I was surrounded by people that love God, love to talk about His Word, and every single day was spent ministering to people or being ministered to by people. Still, the struggle was not over. I ended my time "helping" and things got worse again....Just when I thought it would never get better. It did. 

February 2012

Just like that, a major prayer was answered. I was okay. I still had more letting go to do. The rest of 2011 and really, up until recently, were marked by a toned down version of the first part of 2011. I was still up and down, but not nearly as bad. I was still questioning God and feeling TRAPPED. I didn't have answers. I didn't have direction or security in the day to day. I was gripped by FEAR. 
From December 2011 to March of 2013, the specifics of my life were given to me only as it was time to do them. I'm black and white. I ask a million questions and I form a million answers in my head. I need to know what is next, why it's next, and what it will lead to. I knew I was a Christian, I knew I was called to be a godly woman, and I knew I existed to know God and to make Him known...Still, I was caught up in the HOW. I need my today to lead to a good tomorrow. Not generally, but SPECIFICALLY. 
Now, I see that the last two years have been about letting that go. Over the last two years, God has been teaching me about how to walk with Him in faith the way that Jesus did. Depending on Him and looking to Him 100%. 
From December 2011 to March 2013, I haven't known what was next. Today, I have no idea what I will be doing next week. I'm writing this on Wednesday night and I don't even know what I'm doing on Friday. ZERO idea. 
For the last fifteen months or so, every couple of months, something comes up, somebody has a need or somebody needs help. I pack up my bags and I head out like Mary Poppins, Jesus until the wind, Holy Spirit changes direction and then I wait to see what will be next. I have taken care of people in their 80's, worked at a coffee shop, helped my Mom run her house, painted buildings/gardened/cooked/cleaned/ministered at the Ranch, helped my friend Heidi with her house, and none of it was ever planned or expected. All of it was dropped into my lap weeks before it was to begin. 
From the time I was 16, I was talking about "living on mission wherever God placed me"....I guess, at 22 I'm there...I got here kicking and screaming, crying and doubting...But, I'm here and I'm free. No conference, no college, no man, just God and His Word leading me, guiding me, protecting me, and making me sure of this: 
I am known by God and He is making me into the image of His Son, Jesus. 
By the grace of God I am what I am and His grace towards me was not in vain, I labored more abdunatly than they all, though it was not I but the grace of God that is in me. 
Now I see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know just as I also am known. 
I'm glad to be sure again. I'm glad to trace the patterns of God at work in me life. I'm glad for the direction He's given and giving me! I've seen my sin and I've seen His grace!
As I finish this post, I have so much truth bubbling up...Truth that has led me to HOPE IN GOD. There is a rap running through my head too. You can listen to it and know that all of this...All that I wrote, all that I've learned, and all that I live for is because of Jesus. This Sunday we celebrate that He died and ROSE AGAIN. 

He rose from the grave. He defeated death - first His and now mine! I have walked through the shadows and by God's grace and mercy, I have seen the LIGHT. A fountain of living water was brought before me and now I am overflowing that living water. 

Frankly Friday

Good morning, ladies!

A few hours ago, I said goodbye to my friend Amber again. She and her husband came over for another visit. We stayed up WAY too late, got up WAY to early, and now they're on their way to their next stop. This time, I knew they were coming. 

It was a cold foggy morning and the quiet that settles after the guests leave is always a little strange to me. 

As I headed downstairs to grab my laptop, I noticed the cats sitting together looking out of the window. Of course, the noise of the camera disturbed them. I never thought this would happen...Today, you're getting a post with a series of cat pictures. 

I'm going to be really busy in a few weeks...I'm not sure what it's going to look like, but I feel like I should just warn you now. My friend Heidi is going to be having another baby very soon and I'm going to be helping her for a while. 

In the meantime, I've been doing crazy things like tearing my room apart trying to get things organized. February is a time to start working outside again. I'm thinking that that is going to be put on hold this year. 

Normally I would start gathering leaves and sticks that have blown in and settled through the winter. This year, I would be digging up some grass that has been trying to take over a flower bed. 

By the time March comes I would be ready to start pulling up all the weeds that mark the coming of spring. 

I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing this year.

I'll get to the yard work eventually...In the meantime, things are just going to look different. Rather than tending to dead things and ugly things it looks like I'll be coming alongside one of my best friends as she and her daughter welcome something very much alive and beautiful into the world.

Frankly, I'm looking forward to whatever the next few weeks will bring!